Follow

“Most people know about fight, flight, and freeze — but another trauma response, “fawn,” is at the core of what people-pleasing is actually about.

To avoid conflict, negative emotions, and re-traumatization, people who “fawn” when triggered will go out of their way to mirror someone’s opinions and appease them in order to deescalate situations or potential issues.”

letsqueerthingsup.com/2019/06/

@Y3WTREE i like this article but i wish they'd leave a little room for "tend & befriend" too. even if someone isn't traumatized they can show a conciliatory response to a threatening event that doesn't go as far as trauma. there's a lot of gender essentialism about it in evo psych but i've seen it and done it myself

@amphetamine @Y3WTREE I'm glad you mentioned this because I didn't experience trauma until my teens and that has been relatively minor, but I identify with this article. It's good to know I'm not just dramatic

@Y3WTREE I’m glad fawning is being discussed more bc it’s quite a common response and knowing abt it is a huge step to breaking its patterns.

@Y3WTREE any tips on how to be supportive of friends showing these behaviors?

@ischade I'm still trying to deal with it myself. But perhaps one could start by first telling someone that their feelings and thoughts are valid, and reinforcing that through support.

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!