I am weak and have accepted the offer for a mufo's burner account. @Lonnie_Jansen on the site I hate.

@Yodacat you can figure it out manually like this: 5 hit points per level plus and additional 6 per level of Endurance

I think I'd be more willing to get into a fight if I knew how many hit points I have.

@kremmits I recall a "never" being declared in regards to Mastodon.

hello to all my new followers let me introduce myself to you

-im a bisexual
-i cranked one out during 9/11 but i didnt do it to 9/11
-i own more than 14 ferrets at this point ive lost count
-i was banned off twitter for doing unabomber roleplay on my selena gomez fan account

They should invent a "cold oven" that makes food cold instead of hot, for if you want to cook something cold

Has anyone done a Furby wife one yet?! Wait right here! I'll be right back!

just ordered a carbon neutral recharchable vibrator bc I’m trying to get

My 5yo has discovered Despacito and it's not awful, but all I can think of is how easy it must be to rhyme in Spanish.

*sits down across from you*
The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.

I'm not taking pics, cause they're scattered throughout the house. I have some Tony Lama boots, Nike sneakers, flip flops, dress shoes, and some shoes my 5 year old calls farmer shoes.

Its on Netflix now and I just boost and fav everyone all the time I toot stuff about how Bert and Ernie can spitroast me

Fellas you walk in and see your Wolpertinger looking like this, wyd?

@selfagency@bofa.lol I invented many of the bofa's you know and enjoy today. Can I get an invite? JawnMalkovich tried sending me a link, but it's not working. bofa.lol/@JawnMalkovich/100720

Could one of you kind fokls,,, please invite me to bofa.lol

@ABH Been looking for you on twittah. They just got me again.

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