Pinned toot

hello everybody, i worked really hard on this song/video and it would mean a lot to me if you checked it out!!

CW: EC, MH, SUICIDE MENTION

bit.ly/2N16X1Q

listen. there are finite ways of arranging matter in conjunction with the laws of physics. i did not "invent" the Gay Car, i discovered it

@adrenalineetc me: [tired as hell, turns lights off and falls into bed]

my brain: i have to piss so fucking bad

ghost of john f kennedy: welcome to the hotel waluigi. imagine if that was the lyrics in that song. welcome to the hotel wa

my dick: why did you kill me you ass hole

what we hope happens is that, if you begin to scratch at the urge, it changes. you eat one chocolate, maybe now you only want 300 more. eat another and you only want 100. the question becomes one of convergence to a more manageable urge. does your urge converge? i hope so, for your sake

no urge is ever truly satisfied. we settle for simulacra of our true desires. when i say i "want some chocolate”, i mean that i want to eat ten thousand chocolates. i picture my dad being made of cocoa butter and chewing on his sweet limbs... instead i eat an Oreo

i like to call my run-of-the-mill laziness "self sabotage". i am totally watching the same youtube video of the dialect coach dissecting movie accents for the 3rd time this week because i am a twisted auteur who can't handle success

Medieval charm to keep your bees safe 

if i do not like something, people who do like it are simply pretending to think it's good. just a little opinion ive reached with the logic in my head

judge: do you plead guilty

me ( reverse psychology): yeah

judge: do you plead guilty

me ( reverse psychology): yeah

date: ive been super addicted to this podcast lately, each episode they choose an item from the British Museum and use it to describe an entire era of human history

me: yeah i know what you mean. i keep watching this youtube video of a chimp grabbing a power line,

99% of academics have no idea how to use twitter. ill follow the author of some of the most earth-shattering prose ive ever read and all their posts are like "In Toronto right now. Gonna grab some breakfast."

studying pure maths is nice cause you have all the romantic inapplicability of a humanities degree but your parents' snotty friends still respect you

@adrenalineetc *blasting a huge load* i can see my dick from here

to me, a 'car accident' is when i drop my change down the side of the passenger seat

i’d wager that most people that say “i can see my house from here” do so from within their house

even my physics ones have some group theory in them

Show more
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!