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We’re walking up the Crags - off the path in a line stand two young boys and their father, backs to the world, dicks to the mountain, spraying triumphantly. The dog runs happily into the celebrations. ‘Did you get pissed on?’ I ask on her return.

A shot rings out over Edinburgh. ‘That’s the one o’clock gun, pup,’ I tell my dog, apparently uninterested.

Why is this stupid one-joke bot so much funnier than me, it's not fair, I'm a human, I have rights

I think I’m saying this as part of the generally adorable New Year’s Resolution-vibe of Mastodon of being better with social media and expecting it to be better in return

Trying to figure out how to be pro-selfie because people being confident enough to post selfies are the best but I don’t want to be a big creepo

but also please every one of you post selfies you look great

I finished this (good & interesting) debut novel: Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi. Its narrators are a young Nigerian woman and spirits who posses her, who can be protective, lustful, queer, cruel, suicidal...

I am stetting a lot of them and I hope I dont hurt the copy editor's feelings

I've been braced for copy edit queries on the novel and they've come back with 15 minor line edit questions. Honestly there was so much work (not just mine) done in redrafting already that it makes sense it's a good, clean ms. but also this feels like a strange anticlimax.

designing a billboard for the first time. Am I 'qualified' to do that? MIND YOUR BUSINESS and also no

I realise this is an obvious stereotype, and I'm sorry if it crosses a line to say it, but:

Americans have no idea how to give a clear print spec.

The main thing I want in life is to be able to put in a big wall of b-format shelves

*slaps roof of the open savannas of Africa* this bad boy can fit so many gazelles in it

Mastodon meta - help pls 

Could very much use an audiobook recommendation: looking for something good and intelligent, non-fiction about artists/writers/philosophers/some-such.

Listened to At the Existentialist Café a while back and something like that would be [chef kissing fingers emoji]

This is a boring question but one URL or the other’s probably going to get printed on the novel when it comes out, so it feels important

debating whether to move my website from the cumbersome but idiosyncratic to the easy but dull

But Twitter is where all the good selfies are! How can I make all the good selfie-posters come here instead?

I have joined Mastodon because I'm sad about Twitter making life hard for bot-makers. (When creative bots were clearly the best thing about Twitter.)


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