@Azure Instead of getting stuck, the pot keeps falling. As it plummets, teapot-shaped tunnel behind it, the ground around it begins to warm. The dirt solidifies to stone, then softens to liquid - but no matter, for one can heat a cast-iron teapot without fear of damage. Soon, the teapot is no longer falling but rising, tracking toward the surface. In a far-off country, a single worker looks up from a desk to see the ground rupture and a teapot soar upwards to space.

So seeing as this is kitty.town, I feel like I should tell an appropriate story as my first set of posts here. Let me tell you about Baron Von Kittenstein and The Prof, and how they adopted me...

Whoa oh here he comes
He’s not here yet but he’s on his way
Whoa oh here he comes
He’s a slow walker

Apple Air. Microsoft Water. Google Earth. Amazon Fire. For thousands of years the Internet was peaceful. Then everything changed when the Amazon Fire Nation attacked.

No, autocomplete, I meant Dex modifier, not Sex modifier.

Never trust an email with the title “Thank You”.

Uh, that wasn't the toot I was trying to follow up on, but...enh. Sure.

If your cat is on Mastodon, your cat is also gay.

It just follows.

Everyone on Mastodon is gay.

I don't make the rules.

You could be the world's worst axe murderer, and I would still fave that tweet of yours with your adorable cat in it.

Seriously, can we just have the movie with Eleven and Godzilla already?

Please?

@apontious Maybe I can’t see it.

Maybe I don’t feel like getting crushed by the traffic going the other way.

If I’ve stopped,

Just

Fucking

Go.

Me, a pedestrian, to You, an automobile driver:

When I’m stopped at an intersection waiting for you to go, please don’t fucking assume I can see your cutesy “No *you* go!” handwave from inside your goddamn vehicle.

"This is the coolest thing I've ever been hit in the head with!"

Bunnies are cute to watch in carefully trimmed videos but they're expensive dickheads and you almost definitely don't want one, so please don't be fooled ❤ beef.nipple.solutions/bunnies

There’s Always An Asshole, the Andrew Pontious Story

Whoa oh here he comes
He’s not here yet but he’s on his way
Whoa oh here he comes
He’s a slow walker

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