I want the other shirt that Tessa Thompson wears in Sorry to Bother you not the one everyone is all stoked about.

Twitter: no one bragging about having an cloaca
Mastodon: everyone bragging about having an cloaca for some reason.

I’ve had an ambiguous itch inside of my left leg for over 12 hours and I am going to scream because I can’t scratch it.

drake no face: making friends
drake yes face: going to mellie’s house and scrolling twitter

This couple sitting next to me at this restaurant is seriously weird. The dude is like your stereotypical beefcake and his girlfriend only whispers to him, inaudible to everyone else.

I’m gonna take the light rail to go see a movie and eat falafel and I will not be wearing makeup.

Hey everyone, send pictures of your pets or favorite animals to @ronaldravegan to help him get through the day!

My mom is trying to get me to do mushrooms for my bipolar disorder because Joe Rogan said it’s good for you.

if you can, please join me in supporting toot eugen and by extension this incredibly weird website patreon.com/mastodon

cant wait to boost your ass into tooting valhalla

hostility toward hercule poirot 

poirot fuck you eat shit little belgian fuck face detective dick

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