If you're planning on writing short-form humor here, please remember that it should be about 1) a man who 2) has a very normal, boring job, and 3) gradually lets slip that his wife recently left him.
@aedison With 500 characters to play with, we can write parodies of longer William Carlos Williams poems.
By Jove, I am not covetous for plums,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my icebox loot;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet breakfast,
I am the most offending soul alive.