#RyuPaul'sDraggyRace ♂🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🐉 @bangiras@mastodon.social

Heyyo! Call me Daley/Ryu (🐉). First name's a 🤐 because lol privacy.

I'm a #queer #🏳️‍🌈 (bi/pan #transgender man) #disabled #feminist #carnivore white mutt #american/#USian.

❤️: #dragons/#reptiles #cats #dogs (#shibainu owner) #goth/#punk #roleplaying #writing #tv #cartoons #anime #piracy #languages (#spanish #tagalog/#filipino etc.) #art #vidya etc.

🤔: #programming #socialjustice #psychology #history etc.

♿️: #fibromyalgia #depression #anxiety #skinpicking etc. 😩

AMA? 🐊👌

Feeling a little less depressed after crying to my PCP/GP earlier, although I'm still feeling pretty [CRAWLING BY LINKIN PARK INTENSIFIES].

I still need to go through my Gmail account and delete/unsubscribe from stuff. I've got waaaay too many Youtube notifs and shit.

Baby steps until I'm up for my normal routine again, I guess. :T

I know I can't depend on non-med professionals to fix all my problems, but tbh I just feel like nobody IRL appreciates me except my dog. Don't even get a "Thanks!" most of the time.

Doubt anybody in my family would even care/understand what I'm going through right now because "Lol, it's just the internet!" because plenty of them think online friends don't matter as much as offline friends.

I just need somebody to take care of my sad ass since nobody else IRL will. :/

I'm basically my dad's unofficial caretaker and an unofficial parental figure (since mom's a deadbeat) so my family is DEFINITELY not equipped to help me right now.

Can't even get anybody in my household to help take care of me unless I'm bedridden and hitting second base with a puke bucket. Even then, the chores will still pile up.

I'm used to taking care of everybody but I get the "YOU'RE AN ADULT NOW, THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN DEPEND ON IS YOURSELF!!!" treatment. BS. (Cont.)

Been so fucking SAD! today that I've accomplished basically nothing. Well, I cried a lot and barely left my room all day, I guess.

I still need to go to SSA tomorrow to take care of shit, then I might just swing by my mental health place and just fucking bawl at somebody. Kind of tempted to admit myself to a crisis place or something.

Not feeling suicidal or like I want to hurt myself, I'm just feeling really fucking empty and hopeless right now. 😭 (Cont.)

I'm also impatiently waiting for my next SSA paycheck (Every third Wednesday, June 20th) because I want to make sure I'm not completely broke before I replace this old laptop that's slowly breaking apart on me. 😡

I have enough for a new mail order laptop bride right now, but I don't want a financial emergency to come up, you know?

I wanna at least wait until... June 10th to splurge, I guess.

❌ Finish RSS feed sorting on Netvibes.
❌ Sort most of my RSS feeds through Huginn to filter out shit I don't care about since locked out of FeedRinse.
❌ Catch up on Youtube stuff, the important stuff at least.
❌ Check my damn email!!!
❌ Maybe cry.
❌ Contemplate subbing to Philo for cheap TV.
❌ Make a list of what to bring up with PCP/GP on Wed.
❌ Send my therapist an email about what's up, in terms she'd more easily understand. (Internet drama 😩)

Do you ever feel like you can't trust people not to hurt you because you've grown so tired of that agonizing feeling?

And then somebody, or if you're "lucky," multiple somebodies, weasel their way into your heart, pretending to care about you and figuring out your weaknesses, before they remind you all over again what it's like to hurt so deeply?

I know I sound emo as hell but I wish life wasn't such a crock of shit. 😰

Made an appointment for Aki to get her yearly shots Saturday evening, can't wait for her to freak out when the vet sticks a thermometer up her butt again. 😂

She's v selective about letting other dogs sniff her qt butt, so of course she feels violated by the EVIL vet. I thought she was a cute girl dog, not an insecure cishet guy crying about a prostate exam!

Her wet flea treatment upsets her, baths upset her, nail trims upset her...

Drama queen alert!

Playing around with game bots on #Discord makes me wanna get back into #programming so I can make my own. 😰

But aside from HTML/CSS, I haven't touched programming since Java class in high school like 8 years ago. FML!

I kind of wanna make an RPG, but ugh, I haven't been able to draw for so long due to wrist pain (Thanks, fibromyalgia!) and I don't want to screw over fellow artists with cheap rates just because I'm still broke...

Most servers I'm in don't use any bots so I'm playing around with some in mine.

Still wanna ✨perfect✨ the rules and channels and maybe figure out which game bots would be a good fit.

Already have MEE6 and Miki as "main" bots, Fishy is neat, haven't touched Pokecord yet.

If any Masto peeps have any #suggestions, I'm all... well, eyes. Since Mastodon is all text, hahah. 😅

Ducktales!

Awoo!