Becky @becklespinax@mastodon.social

I still have a lot of difficulty identifying as a bi woman and understanding that side of my identity, particularly when in a long term monogamous heterosexual relationship. I pass for straight and when my experiences with women are painful ones full of rejection and fear its so much easier to push it aside.

I feel bad for wanting to be part of queer spaces I don't feel I deserve access to. I wonder if ignoring things will bite me in the arse long term. OH WELL :D

So I've been working in IT for 6 months and I am only just feeling like need to stop minimising or qualifying everything I do.

Yes I don't code but I know a LOT about how all our systems work, where everything is, how to Get Stuff Done.

I am so lucky that I work with an amazing team who are predominantly women, there are predominately women management in the IT department, and I haven't experienced any sexism inside my own organisation.

I love making games with light tools like Bitsy and I have a love-hate relationship with the idea of making them more complex. It's great that people find ways to do cool stuff and break limitations but I really hope that the tool itself stays pretty low-complexity - I want more people to make cool and cute games and not be intimidated by a myriad of features.

GGJ18 was fun and exhausting and I didn't even do as much as I could have. Lessons learned for next year! Also: I'd really rather volunteer to do a weekend-long event than do one for work.

Global Game Jam 2018 has been lots of fun so far. It's really nice to run an event where people come up and thank you because we decided that we wanted to eat wine and cheese so we made everyone have wine and cheese.

I dreamed up an amazing whole heartfelt animated film about Post Ghosts, weird little spirits that lived in a series of underground postal railways, it had heart and charm and strong female characters and is bizarrely coherent even after waking. This is probably my greatest achievement, everything's downhill now.

Signed up for a 10k run with the intention of raising money for charity as a motivational tool. I can do this!

hotel toot: i am in a cosy cottage thing and there is no one else in it apart from my colleague who is in a room downstairs, there might be red squirrels in the morning, it's so quiet i am s o h a p p y

hotel toot: ok i am starting to get a bit bored of hotels now. this one has really thin walls and I am hearing the phone conversations of the person next door in incredible detail.

I want to tell people all my thoughts and feelings about Persona 5.

Ask me about hot takes on motorways, which services are ok, and my thoughts about hire car companies. Also: really boring opinions about cars, like which have the nicest buttons??

M6 Toll is still my favourite motorway, M23-M25-M40-M42-M6 Toll-M6 is a really easy and so far reliable route SE to NW.

I am really getting used to long drives. 6 hours today, felt pretty easy. Didn't even get boring (apart from the small bit stuck in traffic on the M6). Pretty landscape and control and a lot of podcasts makes it feel good.

Back on the old travel life. Today: north Wales! I'd say it was pretty but so far all I've seen are looming shadows of hills hidden behind god rays. Very dramatic.

Right ok back on the travel life from Wednesday so I have got to:

*stick to fruit + yoghurt for hotel breakfast
*stick to no fizzy drinks, no sugar in tea, drink more water
*try a few different 30 min hotel exercise routines and do them every day when it's not feasible to go running
*try and eat more salads, or vegetarian when I can
*go to parkrun on Saturdays!!

Let's see if semi-public shaming makes any difference to my ability to stick to this!

The best part about going away is coming back and seeing the reaction of my cat. :3

The cat has been really grumpy the last couple of days but I guess that's because I tidied all her toys away so she didn't know what to do if it's too rainy to go outside, now I feel like a bad owner.