For those interested, I ended up using `spawn` to execute this bash script at the beginning of every request that I wanted to act like a monster:

On the one hand, I'm in need of a new office chair, as the one that I've been using for the longest is now two separate entities.

On the other hand, my desk has never been cleaner.

On the one hand, I'm currently grilling in a thunderstorm. On the other, I'm itty bitty. There's all kinds of shit taller than me in the world.

Hey folk ... I'm trying to trigger an autoscaler for testing purposes. Anybody have a simple cpu-pegging method handy per chance?

When the money ran out at my last job, I'd transitioned laterally so far away from my original purpose as a consulting audio engineer, I had to ask my boss what exactly I even was, officially.

He said "You're a hacker. But we can make your title 'multimedia developer' officially if you'd like."

So uh, does anyone need one of those? A hacker with a specialization in audio/video coding, and an audio engineering background?

Freelance is fun, except it's mostly not.

That whole diatribe is somewhat moot with the existence of RailsLTS. It's really, really good stuff.

That I'm not allowed to use for this project. Because that would seem like a move in the right direction, and we can't have that.

Running a fresh `bundle install` on a very legacy (ruby 1.8.7, rails 2.3) app. So far, it's been 1.75 hours, 2.5GB of memory usage, and no output beyond "Fetching source index from"

The worst part is that I already know the bundle is going to fail, but the glacial profile of old ruby stuff is going to turn this four-hour project into a two-week project.

I don't miss old ruby, and I don't care at all for clients that refuse to update their shit.

My secondary title at my former place of employment was "Time Traveler," because it always took at least ten minutes for anything I'd say or do to make any sense.

Today, it was verified that I fulfilled a feature request for a mission-critical piece of the current employer's offering very nearly a full year before said feature was requested.

It's good to know that I already have the title picked out if somebody unexpectedly asks me to throw together a GI Joe pisstake comic.


In just a couple days, the best damn free (as in beer) project management board out there is shutting down. I want my waffles.

Software is like running a french bakery.

It's a pain to make.

Thank you, allergy season, for making it even harder to motivate myself to do my damn job.

Hey folks! Anybody out there interested in helping a NPO out with some periodic maintenance tasks for their RoR site? Budget is pretty low, but the effort required appears to be as well.

cc/ @noelle

There's lies, and there's damned lies, but then there's marketing.

Hey all. My game's on sale for $2 for a couple more days. If you like arcade games better than $2 it's probably a good deal for you. Just FYI. :)

"... and that's why they called me a 'time traveler' at ${oldgig}. nothing i say ever makes sense until at least ten minutes later."

Next challenge: find a way to get paid to be a Vagrant Instructor of the Computing Arts.

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