It turns out that the polar ice caps are melting because Santa's elves are running a 500-megawatt bitcoin mining rig
@bignimbus they have to pay for all those toys somehow. we gotta stop kids asking for things the elves can't just make themselves.
@bignimbus Such is the cost of presents. Nobody wanted his wooden toys anymore, so he had to establish a revenue stream to cover all the Xbox Ones and PS4s and Switches he was being asked for.
@bignimbus too close to being actually real though
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