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Jeff Auriemma @bignimbus

It turns out that the polar ice caps are melting because Santa's elves are running a 500-megawatt bitcoin mining rig

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@bignimbus they have to pay for all those toys somehow. we gotta stop kids asking for things the elves can't just make themselves.

Satoshi Nakamoto is Santa's alias. Bitcoin is an elaborate ruse designed to break the Elfish labor union through automation and privatization. Liquid capital is the only limiting factor, and now St. Nick has it :thinkhappy:

@bignimbus Such is the cost of presents. Nobody wanted his wooden toys anymore, so he had to establish a revenue stream to cover all the Xbox Ones and PS4s and Switches he was being asked for.