life is very hard for handsoem, big dicked geniouses like my self

gettign my dick mulched by a weed whacker to protest climate change

the universe is a bomb detonated to erase another, less desirable reality

full of delicious lunch foods, i will now roll down the stairwell from the top of this 60 story building to the bottom

weedlord boosted

"george washington carver. here's to a real one" i say as i pour out a stirred-up jar of addam's peanut butter on the floor during my niece's graduation party

Hey gamers and freaks what's the latest shit

weedlord boosted

its still my birthday NOW I WANT BIRTHDAY DINNER venmo.com/daphaknee

shower me with money so i can shower myself with gifts

weedlord boosted

e3 shitpost 

love for videogame protagonist to kill my wife, triggering my "mourn" subroutine, forcing me to visit a graveyard for hours each day

Striking against the corrupt government establishment by getting my dick stuck in metro bus exhausts to make them late

getting one of those nose strip things but for all the blackheads on my ass

why do they call it baby corn and not "corn veal"

I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as "chubby" or even "fat." Then, as I became a man and starte

bout to go sicko mode on the black mesa complex by fucking this sexy crystal with a thick laser shaft

i'm sorry, i can't come into work today, my doomguy fictive is too angry and i keep uncontrollably screaming about demons

I bought this motorized doorhandle shaped like a hand, which you have to shake to open, for a specific reason. it's too jack myself off,

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