Comedy under quarantine is awful, it's all inside jokes.

since all my notifications got deleted i need new notifications, thanks

I like that triz logged on to both her accounts to like my toot cause it was that good :3

soon as I start writing a significant body of work it's oeuvre for you bitches

@nev @witchfynder_finder They're going by this diagram debating how to defibrillate a centaur

Sorry to tell you but Mario is Maoist and Luigi is Gaddhafist.

taking advantage of the twitter exodus to pretend i’m one of the cool kids like dee dee getting on the bus to yoker

twitter don,t read this 

mastodon... hello

FUCKSKDKFDKDKKDKSKKSKSKSK I ACCID LOST ALL OF MY .SOCIAL FOLLOWERS

hey fedi, help me settle a debate at work.

beans, beans, the _____ fruit

@Ophillous

to confuse our enemies.

Washington was named after Washington to help shield him from assassination attempts, and still the physical location was sacked once already in 1812. which is why we then created Washington and put it on literally the opposite coast from Washington.

now, you could overthink this. or you could relax with this cool, refreshing mug of Washington and put your feet up on the Washington. do you like sports? Washington is playing Washington this afternoon.

mr sandman
sand me a man
make him all smooth
and with plenty of glands

#ff it's getting late, you think to yourself as the grandfather clock in the hallway chimes three in the morning. probably better turn in.

you look up from your monitor with a start as you realize you live in a shotgun house. there is no hallway.

you wrap a blanket around you against the sudden draft. the breeze seems too strong for indoors. odd. it's whipping your hair around but the papers on the table are still.

then a darkness, darker than the night, envelops you as a voice whispers: @Zoe

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#ff the afternoon sunlight grazes the high oaken rafters of a nondescript lecture hall at the University of Canada as @some_qualia , the visiting lecturer, speaks about their writing process. they sneak a look at their phone as a student says "not really a question, more of a comment, but..."

a frown crosses their face. reports of chuds harassing guillotines users have drowned their inbox. they excuse themself and run to change.

"nobody fucks with my instance," they say, drawing their blade.

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