looking at the latest hn thread about mastodon and seeing at least a half-dozen people who are essentially saying: "i went on mastodon and the people on there were behaving in a kind and respectful way, and it was too stressful to make myself behave in a kind and respectful way too, so i left"

weirds me out so much when i read stuff like this. like gives me a massive huge "unknowability of the other" feeling

like. what's the most charitable way we can interpret this sentiment?? are they saying "i'm incredibly clumsy and can't be trusted around people who i may hurt"? or "i just want to be allowed to be an asshole because it fits my personal brand and makes me feel cool and other people actually telling me this isn't cool is cramping my style"???

@jk one way to look at it is that the social mores and nostrums of these spaces can be incredibly intimidating to people who aren't already accustomed to it.

By and large we don't give people much of an on-ramp into being woke.

@jk and consequently we don't get much of a chance to change people's perspectives gently.

We kind of expect them to get it right first try or face the wrath of the dog pile, rather than guiding them around to a new way of thinking.

Unsurprisingly, most choose to just not engage in the first place.