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New musical genres:

- Crumchstep
- Post-post-punk
- Moist house
- Dumpstyle
- Powerhonk
- Fuuuuuuuudge

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Tired: Gender reveal parties
Wired: Gender repeal parties

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I woke up at noon today after hanging out and chatting with a friend until 3:30AM the night before but fuck it, I think I'm gonna go to bed now.

@breakfastgolem (the president pro tempore bangs his gavel, desperately trying to restore order) doot doo doot doot

@breakfastgolem (scandalized whispers rush forth from the crowd as they all check to make sure they heard you correctly. I alone stand, and loudly declare my response.) doot doooooo, doo doo doo

(a rowdy senate floor bustles as the captains of industry talk and argue)
(I step up to the podium and bang the gavel, glaring at the assemblage as they fall quiet, hushed and fearful of my presence)
(the mic hums momentarily as I lean in, taking a soft breath before I speak) mahna mahna

Moooooooooom Joe Biden won't get off the Xbox it's my turn

Hey can someone cancel me real quick? Testing something.

mastodon has reawoken the LOL SO RANDUM XD in too many of you and i'm sorry but we're going to need to put you down before the contagion goes viral

Just constantly falling apart and rambling spooky nonsense. It's how he always is.

Biden will do a speech that's just him repeating variations on the phrase "God, remember when you could smoke on TV?" for twenty televised minutes while his aides frantically try and turn his pacemaker off so he'll pass out and stop talking

True story: I know a guy who once ordered the family-sized lasagna at Bucca di Beppo and ate the entire thing by himself.

Banned from the Bucca di Beppo for ordering everything on the menu and hoarding it in the special Pope room.

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