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Stomping in to the coffee shop and sneering at the barista as she cowers and orders my usual: a quad Hammerhead Espresso, extra whip. My spot is open as no one dares take it, and I take out Excalibur - a 17" custom Alienware gaming laptop with ultra-loud cooling fans and high-intensity LEDs for maximum FPS - and slam it on the table so hard the wood splits and cracks. I crack my knuckles and log in to Windows Vista with the custom extra-dark mode skin I made myself.

Time to Game.

@breakfastgolem I would like to see this turned into a tract for church lobbies.

@heurism I would love to make a living doing this kind of stuff. Professional Shitposter would be my title.

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