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the evil men do lives after them; the good is stored in the balls

Used to be a lifeguard. Worked with a guy we used to call Fish Boy. He lived in the deep end and would bite people's toes if you weren't careful. One day he bit my big toe clean off and I turned to him, I turned to Fish Boy and I said "If you don't knock that stuff off I'm gonna grab you by your fins and I'm gonna throw you into a storm drain." and he never bit anybody ever again. We have a lot of Fish Boys in the Democratic party today, and I'm gonna make them knock it off

have you herd the tragedy of corn pop? i think not. its not the story a jedi would tell you

mi5 but for twinks. no questions, no comments. get out of my house

have you ever thought "I wish potato chips were transparent, also that I could dip them in potato cream cheese bacon fat slurry"

no, you have not, because you are not a monster. come, friends, and join in Scrum's nightmares

*drags myself frozen, half starving and nearly dead to the top of the mountain and sees the ancient oracle* are this...the clit

*extremely sighing so deeply it shakes the bowels of the earth voice* B-

level 1: bees boost
level 2: jer boost
level 5: healyn boost
level 20: eugen boost
level 50: twitter personality who logs into mastodon every four months before realising they still can't build a brand here and logging off again boost

every time Bryce Youngquist talks to a girl, he is sent to a crystal prison dimension for ten thousand years. every day this happens.

i see you have met members of the family at some point in the past


Holy shit yang just pulled out a gun on stage. Oh my God he's putting it in his mouth

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