No modern weapon would ever make you feel more powerful than when you were a kid and had found the perfect stick while playing outside

Shit was like Breath of the Wild, like holy shit time to hide this and stash it w/ my other weapons in my inventory: pinecones (soft grenades), those hard green pinecones (real grenades that hurt), a smaller stick but compact, a rock just in case shit pops off and 2 crumpled dollar bills just in case the ice cream lady rolls thru for a chocotaco

@yo I will go one further and posit that the right stick -- of sufficient length, and a sturdy, pole-like circumference -- was capable of making you not just powerful, but also briefly a druid, depending on how far into the woods you ventured.

@JulietteStray @yo staves required you use two hands though, which is a hand that cannot be holding a fistful of leaves, mud, cool rocks, or pinecones

@bryceyoungquist @JulietteStray a big stick that you can rest on your shoulder like a final fantasy character and also have a cool rock in your other hand for long distance shots

@yo @JulietteStray now you are speaking my language, particularly the part where in the child's mind the rock's a ranged weapon and not, functionally, the same range as the stick

@bryceyoungquist @yo I'm tellin' y'all, while I know that engineer is an atypical subclass to pair with an outdoor warrior, using a pokin' stick wrenches those things five to ten times harder than a mere mortal limb could propel it.

Plus, it's capable of interacting with the fabled closed pinecones -- the ultra bristly, ultra sharp pinecones that stab even their wielders.

@JulietteStray @bryceyoungquist there was a tree that grew in my neighbors backyard (it was like a tan/light green colored tree) that had long “whispy” branches that would bend and flex without breaking. I managed to get a branch and turned it into a whip and.... let’s just say that medium-to-close range it was a monster

@yo @bryceyoungquist Bendy sticks are no joke. An entirely different class of warfare. Past my paygrade.


@JulietteStray @yo the bendy sticks are forbidden under both the Geneva convention and also Cody's mom

@bryceyoungquist @JulietteStray they did some serious damage, we started putting dents into the sheet metal of some electrical boxes outside and my friend got dirt into his eyes from debris of the force of the whip lmao

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