calaveras boosted
calaveras boosted

*upon seeing my slutty friend who's really into math*

ah, it's the thot that counts

calaveras boosted
a couple years back i learned that urinal cakes don't actually dissolve over the course of successive flushes, but rather they sublimate into the bathroom air.

ever since that moment, my mind has become infinitely flexible.

learning that one fact turned my imagination into the fourth panel of a galaxy-brain meme, capable of accepting even staunchly contradictory ideas as wholly true.
calaveras boosted

*flips chair around*

Now kids, I know we like to have fun here, but there's nothing "dummy thicc" about the oil and gas industry

calaveras boosted

SOMEONE JUST BROUGHT UP MASTODON AT WORK ABORT ABORT

calaveras boosted

the only real world situation my degree has actually prepared me for would be if i died and theodor adorno, guarding the gates of communist heaven, asked me to show how my shitposts helped resist against our hyperindividuation by the culture industry

calaveras boosted

eternally on the hunt for the placetime I belong in

calaveras boosted

Mini Metro is a fun app! Kinda addicting and pleasantly mindless focus...

calaveras boosted

man, it's so crazy to think that Earth has two moons that look exactly the same and are never in the sky at the same time

calaveras boosted
calaveras boosted
calaveras boosted

the hottest sauce at buffalo wild wings but with titties

calaveras boosted

We need more play spaces in society. We don't have enough outlets for play.

calaveras boosted
calaveras boosted
calaveras boosted
calaveras boosted

Mister Glandman,
Bring me some cream.
The kind that comes from
A basketball team.

calaveras boosted

Y’all: can you please put a CW on all of your pics of chicken str ips ?.

Also y’all: not bothering to put a warning on a pic of some Japanese girl going down on some slime, everyone behind me at the gym seeing it as well

Show more
Mastodon

Invite-only Mastodon server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!