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my balls are uneven
i got one light, and one heavy bollock
and when i lose my balance
i blast nuts like pollock

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doctor telling me to eat only 1 baseball per day

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Hello new Friends Ha Ha! I'm sorry I have been away from elephant FaceBook. It's so nice to see you again I always follow my Friends back, if I forget please remind me! Ha ha

Lol Lots of Love
Your Friend Pep-pep

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we have heard plenty from the Boss Baby, but what of the Worker Baby?

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🎶 he was a bofa lol soldier~ 🎶

is this anything?

Pegging 

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A Weekend-At-Bernies style comedy where the landlord of a shitty inner city tenant building dies and all the tenants team up to make the city think the landlord is still alive so they can run the building themselves

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“Data is the new oil,” I say as the CIA plots yet another coup over spreadsheets.

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Somebody please investigate the real mysteries, like why do my earbuds cords get so tangled up in my pocket!

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how to be a liberal:

pick a societal problem and take a morally correct stance on it, i.e. "we should work to reduce homelessness as a society"

pick the most contradictory position on the topic possible owing to your inability to critique the logic of capitalism, i.e. "we can solve homelessness, which was caused by the market, by using the market"

congrats now youre a liberal!

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thinking sexy thoughts on the airport security line to get a semi so the TSA x-ray folks respect me

Michigan? More like Michigantt chart, amirite?

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