actually its called saint PADDY’s day after the holy saint paddington bear

I got so frustrated with Apple’s missing web archive support on iOS I decided to write my own app to create and view web archives. Coming soon

Mr Nolan doesn’t get wasted he gets drunkirk

do i use twitter joke formats well? of course not. but do i understand them? well, no. but do i try my best and mess it up horribly? also yes

imagine being so brazenly evil and stupid you publicly declare this

deadmau5 should be called dadmau5 cause it’s for dads

hi, im bill shakespeare, im dead and i think a really good comedy is one with errors in it

I hope Instagram is ready for my red hot searing take on their app

washington post: democracy dies in darkness; we are the defenders of truth, the brave and tireless fourth estate

also washington post: yoooooooo mitch!! what’s up broski, got any wildly inaccurate partisan slop for us to publish without question?

i’m excited to announce i will be launching my own streaming service in 2020. its 20 bucks a month and the only show is Getting Coffee In Karaoke With No Celebrities Just Me, Cameron, A Man Who Can’t Sing and Hates Coffee which I just renewed for 200 seasons

wow reality, very original, this is literally a plot point from the movie 2012 by Roland Emmerich

media: the president is a liar ☹️☹️ and lies about everything, but! … i wonder 🤔🤔 … would we even be a “free” press 😮😮 if we did anything other than repeat his lies verbatim?? 😞😞 makes u think 🧐

bar dj: do people need to talk over my impeccable musical taste? No. no they don’t

the coding interview is a self-perpetuating hiring process that was created by white cis dudes who majored in computer science that systematically disadvantages everyone else don’t @ me

Apple is basically the abstinence-only education of companies

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