I like living in cities. I lived in Paris, the EU's largest city for a year and also Birmingham (second largest in the UK) and now London (Europe's largest, but on a technicality).

What all these places have in common are being outside my native country and being intensely alienating places where I've struggled to meet anyone, advance my career, or build meaning in my life.

Large cities are awful and I love them for it.

I will never leave mastodon.social

Cities ranked:

Paris: best bread
Den Haag: Best audiences
Birmingham: Best curry
London: best queer scene
Oakland: best music
Portland: best bookstore

Paris: Most difficult music scene
Den Haag: Most boring
Birmingham: they say its gotten a lot better…
London: :endless_screaming:
Oakland: Fucking awful cops
Portland: Segregated

Uh, I moved around while I was studying at different institutions and then for work at universities.

At least one person was offended by this thread and I want to express regret for that as it was not my intent.

A good apology includes an understanding of the problem and a commitment to avoid repetition, so this post is an invitation to comment as I have some gaps in my process here.

I feel like my comments about Portland were too casual about what I saw as a very serious problem in that city. I haven't actually lived there except for one summer more than 20 years ago. My family moved there after I emigrated. I don't really know what its like there now to be honest.

I was also unaware of the most recent reasons people have been calling for defederation. I don't have the whole story yet. I should have looked into it before joking about it. Ableism is bad. I've seen people physically flinch at ableist language.

I feel like, especially because I'm a teacher, this is an issue I need to be aware of and not perpetuate.

Many students have hidden disabilities or loved ones with disabilities and its very important that everyone feel welcome and valued.

Anyway I often have no idea what's going on and am always grateful to people who take the time to let me know when I'm being a dick.

Also, finally, context is hard to find on here and I misunderstood what was going on after seeing chatter about something unrelated and I got the wrong end of the stick.

It would be really helpful if posts asking for specific action from users could include a brief summary of context and link back to the source.

I'm sorry for joking about something people were hurt by. While obviously this was only my fault, I do think context would also be helpful for other users.

@celesteh Ah, part of it might be it sounds like an endorsement of the reason other instances are defederating with mastodon.social ?

(Here if you haven't seen it: dragon.style/@packbat/10497263 )

@Canageek

no hadn't seen it.

The specific subtoot was about the "rich cities" I listed and I dunno. I should go to bed.

@celesteh Ah, I took it the wrong way due to the last line.

Also, probably? Aren't you in the UK?

@Canageek I mean I was also joking about the instance being too big and kind of shitty, but I didn't know the context that lead to the latest round of defederations, just some of the drama around how it was discussed. I didn't look into it further, thinking it was a straightforward continuation of previous complaints.

And it's a quarter to three.

@celesteh Ah, no, there is new stuff that is far worse, but no need to deal with it tonight.

@celesteh Sorry, I waffled on including a link to that post as I didn't want to be the one spreading discourse, this is partially my fault

Why instances are considering defederating with m.s 

@celesteh The beginning:

plural.cafe/@fidgetcetera/1049

The mod doubles down:

plush.city/@mawr/1049560016807

Summary:

dragon.style/@packbat/10497172

That's why some instances have suspended m.s, others silenced, and more are pondering.

Why instances are considering defederating with m.s 

@porsupah

I'm going to look into relocating to lgbt.io in the morning.

Why instances are considering defederating with m.s 

@porsupah @celesteh I have been on Mastodon.Social since I joined Mastodon* and have not noticed any significant problems. A few, sure; I am also on Twitter and it's difficult to scroll through any trending topic without seeing something awful. I block and report as necessary.

* As mentioned somewhere in this discussion, I joined Mastodon.Social because I didn't know much about instances and this seemed like a good place to start.

Why instances are considering defederating with m.s 

@porsupah @celesteh A while ago I noticed that I interact with several people on another instance, including their moderator, quite often and have been thinking about creating an account there.

Given that Mastodon (in general) was my Plan B in case I am ever completely fed up with Twitter, I'm now considering a second Mastodon account on that other instance. Plan C?

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