anyone else ever feel deeply ashamed about their perceived lack of praxis?

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self-doubt rambling 

how can I, someone who has unequivocally benefited from white hetero-patriarchal power structures, ethically justify devoting my time and energy to anything other than the destruction of those power structures? Like I wanna go to grad school but I only have that option because of the aforementioned benefits (which come at the expense of marginalized communities) Is there any justification for enriching myself off the back of that exploitation even if I'm not doing it directly?

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self-doubt rambling 

one other *extremely* on-brand fact about this current crisis is that it is based in no small part on the ideology of My Hero Academia

Iida said "my actions are the shape of my dreams" and if I dream of fully automated luxury gay space communism then I *should* (I know should is a dangerous word, however, it IS how I want to live my life) use my actions to bring that dream into material reality

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@chaoticgoodboy ah shit this is a colossal mood

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@Aleums I don't think I'd be so hard on myself about this if I was evaluating myself relative to others since I at least know my grasp on theory is (pretty) good, but I'm trying to evaluate myself in a vacuum so it's me vs the platonic ideal of an organizer & activist

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@chaoticgoodboy No ethical consumption under capitalism goes hand-in-hand with no ethical advancement under capitalism imo.

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@chaoticgoodboy understanding the flaws in our system also means understanding that turning down opportunities probably won't actually contribute to fixing the system, or even giving a marginalized person a chance

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@EndlessWario @chaoticgoodboy i think this is the most practical advice you're going to get on this. advancing yourself *can* give you the opportunity to advocate better. men listen to men, white people listen to white people.

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@chaoticgoodboy Oh god I feel this so much it hurts

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