Some quick facts about me:
- I am a #writer of #books
- I dispense dubious #writingadvice
- I also dispense #bees out of my faceholes
- donuts filled with stuff or GTFO
- I run the blog #terribleminds
- I killed a man in Reno for his #netflixpassword
- I hear ducks
- I ruined #StarWars
- my latest book features a short treatise on #elkmasturbation
- tonight my 6-year-old said that to escape bad guys he would PEEL OFF HIS SKIN so that he LOOKED HUMAN the he'd EAT THEM holy shit what the fuck
@chuckwendig It’s good to know someone else has bee-related medical issues. I release a swarm whenever I hiccup.
@chuckwendig I think your boy thinks he's an Ewok.
Or did the Ewoks replace your boy with one of their cubs, only shaven?
@chuckwendig I am pissed that the only Toot on Mastodon about elk masturbating is yours and that the hashtag has no other helpful resources. Someone needs to fix that.
@chuckwendig The wanting to look human so people will lower their guard so you can eat them makes sense. I'm just stuck on the notion that removing your skin makes you look human.
@chuckwendig oh so all of a sudden on mastodon you’re NOT a bunch of spiders in a human suit. I see how this works.
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