Some quick facts about me:
- I am a of
- I dispense dubious
- I also dispense out of my faceholes
- donuts filled with stuff or GTFO
- I run the blog
- I killed a man in Reno for his
- I hear ducks
- I ruined
- my latest book features a short treatise on
- tonight my 6-year-old said that to escape bad guys he would PEEL OFF HIS SKIN so that he LOOKED HUMAN the he'd EAT THEM holy shit what the fuck

@chuckwendig It’s good to know someone else has bee-related medical issues. I release a swarm whenever I hiccup.

@chuckwendig oops, I meant to post from here, that other me is likely going to be deleted

Ahem: #bdub is my favourite

@chuckwendig Your toot is currently the only result for #elkmasturbation on Mastodon. You have so much work to do here.

@chuckwendig I think your boy thinks he's an Ewok.

Or did the Ewoks replace your boy with one of their cubs, only shaven?

@chuckwendig I am pissed that the only Toot on Mastodon about elk masturbating is yours and that the hashtag has no other helpful resources. Someone needs to fix that.

@chuckwendig I’ve always wanted to write fiction based on cool ideas but I don’t know how the plots should end, should I start writing without having any idea about that? #writingadvice

@chuckwendig The wanting to look human so people will lower their guard so you can eat them makes sense. I'm just stuck on the notion that removing your skin makes you look human.

@gregpak @chuckwendig no joke I’ve been thinking about this and talking to people about it for hours. THANKS MINI WENDIG.

@Stirpicus @chuckwendig I'm thinking it's a zombie thing. Like he's aware of zombies who are missing some of their skin, and aware of zombies eating people.

And he thinks zombies are the REAL humans.

@gregpak @chuckwendig Is this like parents telling their kids that red is blue just for shits and giggles?

Chuck. What have you been telling your son “humans” are?

@chuckwendig oh so all of a sudden on mastodon you’re NOT a bunch of spiders in a human suit. I see how this works.

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