I've had the words from the Birdseye potato waffles ad of the 80's: "Grill em, bake em, fry em eat em" mixed into the "Peter Gunn theme" on a constant loop in my head for the past 3 days, day and night. Please help

I have seen many good, strong men try and fail, but am I not also a good and strong man?
I step up boldly, take hold of the handle, and my mind fills with visions of worry, of powerlessness, of compromises tarnishing my honour, of a weight heavy enough to crush my soul.
My mouth full of bitterness, I let go of the handle.
I look around, and none who had tried to pull the sword from the stone before me will meet my eyes.

Hi Starfleet, this is Clem Fandango can you hear me?

What's this tune:
Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee deeee, Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee

No you're wrong, it's the theme to Hungarian folk tales

A live action remake of The Pink Panther starring Mahershala Ali

I had high hopes for 'Spiderman - Into the Spiderverse' and .... it smashed them. It is so much better than I ever thought it could be

So the new .dev domains cost about £10 grand up front. Google must really need more money bless them

In the Football Manager game, players really need an additional stat out of 20 for covering one nostril and blowing snot out of the other

I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name 'Putting socks on wet feet' and Hades was following with him

Gandalf after Frodo catches him having a piss down his chimney:
"A wizard is never drunk Frodo Baggins, he drinks exactly as much as he means to"

Hi! Did you know that Nestle cereals like Shreddies and Cheerios and OBEY are good for you and make you feel OBEY good and give you energy all day OBEY

What do you call the shape they make with chalk for a dead parrot?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
I'm so sorry
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
A polygon

TFW you haven't eaten Cadbury's chocolate in a while and wonder why it tastes of chemicals...

Idea for new Wolverine arch-enemy: someone with exactly the same powers, except his claws are made of dried-in weetabix stuck to a cereal bowl - the hardest substance in the universe

Show more
Mastodon

Invite-only Mastodon server run by the main developers of the project 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!