Carli @cko@mastodon.social

#introductions Hi, I'm Carli and I don't know how I ended up here, but I like it a hell of a lot better than Twitter, so I'm giving it an honest try. So far so good!

I mostly post nonsense/mysterious garbled text to entertain myself with and I talk about my cat (William Catner) often. I try to be one of the "cool nerds" but I am not. (HAHA, "LINUX" AM I RIGHT?? Oh god, I'm so lonely. Please give me internet friendship!)

In an emergency, you can light a bunch of spaghetti on fire and use it as a torch.

Oh shit these BC cherries are so good.

Also, why does my phone want to change cherries to CHEMTRAILS?

Someone in Macedonia is feverishly trying to get into my yahoo account?

lol.

*Slowly climbs onto soapbox*

BACK IN MY DAY ANIME WAS WEIRD AND WE DIDN'T HAVE CONVENTIONS. IT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF SMELLY DORKS IN A RENTED UNIVERSITY LECTURE HALL EATING BBQ CHIPS.

1999 WAS LIT AF. YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES WE WATCHED EVANGELION AND OUTLAW STAR? 9.

*Climbs off*

WHOOPS 4 HOUR NAP

There wasn't a single farmer's market or garage sale in my entire town, so we went and bought shit to BBQ for Canada Day.

This would have been the perfect Saturday to buy Hutterite onions and look at people's unwanted wares.

Officially shut down/deleted all my tweets on Twitter. It's a weird feeling but I don't want to be part of it anymore. Goodbye 11 years of insane rambling!

We bought one of those blackhead/pore gunk vacuums for funsies and I just tried it.

Verdict: I am dumb and put it on max suction and now my face is covered in small hickies. It works though!

Does anyone else's local Subway have only a single employee that hurls shredded lettuce and napkins at them until they leave?

I really want a sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich...

Kellan bought some tarot cards for his D&D thing and so I have been farting around with them.

I know nothing of this world, but I keep pulling up the same card - The Star. Spoopy doopy.

I guess Comcast is down? Good thing I am on that good ol' Canadian internet.

*Walks behind the maple tree and adjusts my fiber optic moose or whatever*

Just picture this eating our summertime squash and violently fucking us up when we go near his newly claimed territory of the backyard patio furniture.

The tiniest, cutest little cottontail bunny is terrorizing Kellan's parents and their garden and it makes me laugh. The little bun is so tough and stands his ground, and then rips a tomato plant out of the earth with a fierceness I have never before seen.

There should be a tv show where they give Gordon Ramsay a time machine and a sword and then just film what happens from that.

Ok I'm not really following what's going on, but one of the people on Big Brother is a robot now as a punishment?

Brother's gf: WHERE IS (GIRL WHO IS NOW ROBOT)

Me: Her soul has been trapped in there as punishment.

Her: What?

Dad: HER SOUL! IS IN THE ROBOT!

Every night my mother must inject our obese diabetic cat with lifesaving insulin.

My parents are obsessed with Big Brother and I hate the show so much.

Why can't the gamechanger twist be that they all have to stand in 2 feet of water in a dark room for 30 days?

Or they have nothing to eat but sticks of butter?

Hmm, I'm a bad person.

I had to hang up and Google the name of the nurse practitioner I see TWICE. I don't know what I hate more about this disease - the widespread pain/inflammation or that my brain no work.

I overdid it trying to be helpful/the favorite child at my parents and now I must live in my self made hell!

🔥 💃 🔥

Visiting my parents!
Steak and rhubarb cake!
I am too tired to play on the internet!

My Satanic Worship playlist has 2 followers! I'M VERY SLOWLY GAINING MORE POWER! 😈