i won’t be happy until i have 30 cats :(

my girlfriend's mom photoshopped me into an elf on the shelf

for my birthday

“i am as leftist as they come... i have been a democrat for DECADES”

someone genuinely said this to me.

do you think if i created a product that was like a combination of on of those nose tube oxygen things and an essential oil diffuser i could get a bunch of dumb rich assholes to buy it and wear it around in public like it’s a normal thing to do?

when i was in high school i was at the state speech competition and in the musical theatre division these two girls did “take me or leave me” from RENT in cosplay as dave strider and rose lalonde

we weren’t even allowed to wear costumes?

new neighbors moved into the apartment next door and they’re juggalos

celebrities and the fediverse 

If you are a famous person and you come into the fediverse and immediately assert your status by being like "hey it is me, famous person!" you are just bojack horseman.

There is a specific way people with status make an entrance in order to receive a wave of attention and recognition. Maybe people don't like that here and frankly I think that is wonderful.

Maybe pick a fun name that isn't your real one and just quietly come in?

Shitposting on Twitter is peforming for an audience
Shitposting on tumblr is yelling into a void and waiting to see who yells back
Shitposting on here is throwing a stick into a quick moving river. You dont know where its going but it's going fast

all memes aside i used to work at a summer camp with one of the cast members of a christmas prince and its sequel, a christmas prince: the royal wedding

i’m on the seattle ferris wheel at night in the rain i’m really high and this is the worst idea ever

stray cat drama, long thread over, advice/cat theft? 

is it unethical for me to try to take the cats back and get them to the same discreet foster? are they officially her cats now? is it justifiable for me to take a cat just because i disagree with how someone will raise it? does it make a difference that she just got them? does it matter that she lied about keeping them temporarily?

i just feel so shitty because i caused all of this, i feel like i've failed all four of those cats.

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stray cat drama, long thread 

we both believe she wants to keep these cats because of their coat pattern, which is semi-rare and semi-desirable, and they think her pushy possessiveness of the cats(in fb comments she was actively telling other people not to involve themselves as they might scare off the cats - ironic) suggests she intends to breed them. myrtle is making it her damn mission to make sure these cats experience everything i wanted to save them from.

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stray cat drama, long thread 

myrtle asks when i can set the traps(which she asked me to bring in for the night) tomorrow. i tell her between noon and 1. i will really be there at 7am at sunrise. i will do everything i can to get these other two kittens inside where it's warm. a local foster organization contacted me offering to help "discreetly" adopt out the kittens to avoid drawing myrtles attention, without me reaching out to them first, just having seen my fb post and myrtles comments on it.

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stray cat drama, long thread 

she says they'll be fine because they've been fine all this time. the low tonight is 34 degrees. "all this time" they have had their mother and one additional sibling to huddle with for warmth. i am trying to keep things amicable with myrtle, but she tells me to "trust that she knows what she's doing" because she's "had animals for 50 years" and "we've already caught two of them doing it MY way".

needless to say i set up a warm box with food and towels anyways.

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stray cat drama, long thread 

i say i'm going to leave a warm box for them, with lots of towels, hot hand warmers, and some wet food mixed with kitten milk formula, since they won't have their mom for the night it's the next best chance. myrtle REALLY does not want me to do that. she keeps saying to "look at the bigger picture" because if i put out a box i'll disturb them too much and they might abandon the spot for good, and they probably won't use them anyways.

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stray cat drama, long thread 

i have done a lot of things i am not proud of and taking the mom to myrtle is now on that list. it made the most sense at the time, and i wanted to get her out of the trap so i could still try to catch the other two babies before it got too cold or two dark. wouldn't you know it, but the mom isn't as feral as we expected, and myrtle is "kind of falling in love with her too!" myrtle asks me to bring in the traps overnight so they don't get stolen.

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stray cat drama, long thread 

she has to go home. finally. i'm watching the trap. it springs. i go up and it's the mom. i now have to make a decision. let her go so i'm not leaving her babies alone in the cold without her if i can't catch them, since it's getting dark. take her to a shelter and ensure she gets split from the kitten that myrtle has already, and possibly also the other two kittens, again, if i don't find them. or take them to myrtle.

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