News orgs: don't "pivot to video". Stop pivoting to video. Video: no.

You know how when you put the video for people to click on instead of autoplay, and nobody clicks on it? That's not because we don't see it available there.

Just put the fucking text. I can't believe that's not easier for you anyway.

Now there's a phrase I did not expect to read in an article about baristas: “There’s no definition of anal cleft”

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A consists of 8.5 syllables divided into three lines of 2½, 3⅓, and 2½ syllables respectively:

What the h—
Get away fr—

The duolingo thread on mefi is closed, but if anyone is interested in free language lessons, Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center has some pretty dang good stuff. (free reg required)

Never found out what the fox DOES say.

Pair of crows now fully onboard with Saturday morning peanuts. Waiting in the yard for me to come out.

Running their own experiments back on me. What if one of us takes the peanuts and the other waits - will there be more?

Spied a crow hiding something in my yard by laboriously covering it with bark from the wood pile. It was white and kind of looked like a chunk of a dinner roll from this distance. I kind of want to go see what it is but I don't want him to know i'm on to him.

Email: who's doing [onboarding thing] for which newly-hired supervisor?
Me: Has it been decided which manager is getting which supervisor?
Next email: You're getting Bob.
Me: so, is this really a question?

Come on, people. It's ok to say I need X from you by Y date, no need to play around.

When your list of commitments to external entities is so large it needs a database - and it's called CATS:

Do not look at the internet on your day off. Not relaxing.

Someone got the peanuts this time while I wasn't paying attention. Crows? Squirrels? Jays? Well played. Round 3 next week.

Dude, the world is not going to end because I suggested you slowly build up your PTO balance to some comfortable level before you start using it as fast as you earn it. I wasn't that concerned, it was just friendly advice from someone who's been around a while.

But good job, now I'm kind of concerned.

Why do I need a CyberFEDS account? Well, I'm a Fed, and I want to... never mind. I just need it, ok?

ctmf boosted

did u know that if a millionaire gets a $10,000,000 tax cut and i get nothing, we average a $5,000,000 tax cut?

4k raise my ass...

Gonna feel guilty buying a whole dozen-box of Pao's Donuts for just the two of us, but... Pao's Donuts.

A video game where instead of a little medical kit with a red cross fixes you up, you have to find a bathroom and spend 2 minutes taking a leak. Occasionally longer to do #2. Or you die.

And sometimes you have to stand in line, or buy something so the store will let you, and sometimes you're the wrong gender.

Good god, just read that thread. I... wtf.

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As someone said:
the main use of codes of conduct is to find out how a community responds to codes of conduct

turns out, they're not wrong

In a stand-off with crows. I threw some peanuts into the grass, and they loved that. Now, in a tupperware thing. They're suspicious. Want to wait until I'm not looking to get them.

Them: 😗
Me: 😗

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