Carrie Cutforth @cyngs@mastodon.social

My #introduction:

Interactive creative and community builder in #Canadian screen content industry (#transmedia, #webseries, #tv, #film) and freelance writer on #feminism and #mentalhealth

Written for #theestablishment (reprinted by #everydayfeminism)

Co-founder of the Independent Web Series Creators of Canada

Also #bisexual, #bipolar with #complexptsd

So where are all you #jesuisCharlie people now that the #freepress is under attack in America?

Note left for me overnight by my 16 year old son, found on my keyboard this morning:

//Don't know where it is now, but there's a large bug in the house, possibly a bumble bee last seen stuck on the blinds near the couch middle window. Please deal with it.

Thanks in advance//

THANKS.

IN.

ADVANCE.

#rolfmao

I’m thinking of adding an emotional labour section to my CV

The other night my BOYF was sleepy so I said IM GOING DANCING

resident douche kept asking about my panties

So I sexily hitched my skirt up

Reached down between my legs...

And with a flick of the wrist I showed him my secret garden

A period pad full of blood

#wheredidhego #whatdididowrong #winning

...and blew one of the flypaper's under my arm, GETTING IT STUCK to my armpit hair

so after screaming from OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! i then was scream/crying trying to pull the paper out of my armpit without ripping the hair out

I THEN HAD TO COMB THROUGH MY PIT TO DIG OUT ALL THE DEAD FLIES

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*i just remembered this story last night and thought i would share (2/2)

CW: HILARIOUS GROSS STORY ON WHY I NOW SHAVE MY ARMPITS AFTER YEARS OF NOT SHAVING THEM

So i didn't shave for yeaaaaaaaaaaarrrsss and sported the full hairy armpit thing when it was NOT in style

then one year we stayed in my ex-husband's trailer outside of their farm

they had set up all these fly traps -- you know the long sticky strips of flypaper, all over the camper as...FARM COUNTRY

i was in the middle of doing dishes when a BREEZE came in ... (1/2)

I recently had to explain to a lesbian friend the expression "why men" because she had no frame of reference...

...and i was like...you know...when they are all acting like...men things do

...and she was all: lol (silly bisexuals/heterosexuals)

the other night as i was falling asleep i had a GENIUS IDEA

Me to me: what someone needs to invent is a device like a hair dryer only for your body and it blows cool air instead of hot

me to me: YOU JUST INVENTED THE FAN, NIMROD

I dreamt last night I was hired as the Digital Marketing Director of the Association of Vaping Companies tasked with making VAPING look cool

#fml

My kid: I just find that kid really annoying

Me: Okay, what is so annoying about them.

My kid: First of all, they wear TAP SHOES in class...

Me: Say no more...

Last night I dreamt I was an undergrad in a creative writing program and a literary press discovered me and PUBLISHED MY VOLUME OF POETRY before I even graduated!!!

but then someone told me it wasn't very good so I SUED the publisher into pulling and burning every single copy in existence as i was too immature a writer for them to have published me to begin with

IM SUCH AN ASSHOLE IN MY DREAMS

Sunglasses at Night is AMAZING with earphones on

it's like an ear infection in BOTH EARS

TRY IT: I PROMISE!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56HSPQHSqEE

whenever i feel weird about my art/work I remember that billy idol did a song called EYES WITHOUT A FACE and feel better about the stuff i do

Da ya think I'm sexy is just a warning to all of us that if i dude wants us to watch his music video during the date, he will also insist that we watch his music video during and post coitus

WE WERE ALL WARNED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs

Last night I fell asleep writing a script for a marketing campaign targeting MEN to go into THERAPY only with Axe Body Spray style branding

IF ANYONE HAS $$$ FOR ME TO MAKE THIS A REALITY

IT'S BIG BUDGET THO TO ACCOUNT FOR THE EXPLOSIONS AND LOOSE WOMEN