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My health insurance was approved and I created my online account today. To verify my identify they asked me where my dad lived, which is weird. Like what if I didn’t know? But also, someone not me can probably find this information

People will buy a 16” laptop with 768 vertical pixels, complain that it’s cramped, and then downvote me on Reddit because I can’t magically add more pixels to their poor purchasing decisions

I’m starting to think maybe you need a picture holding a fish to successfully Tinder

500k dead and people are still denying the reality of COVID. Truly depressing stuff. Very ashamed of my country right now.

It’s kinda wild how there was all this noise about how California is anti-business etc so everybody is leaving to Texas only to find out what happens when you don’t create social safety nets or invest in the common good. Pay your damn taxes

Aonuma-san nooooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Aaaaaand effective March 1st, I have health insurance. So that’s pretty neat.

I really hope explodes in popularity and just makes a boat load of money. Buy that premium, people! It’s ridiculously priced. Get that 2FA

Me, cooking quick and simple recipes:

I am a motherfucking culinary genius. I am Iron Chef Sacramento. I am the lord of flavor. All shall love me and despair!

These popcorn bags are all liars. What they call “Movie theatre butter” should be called “A conservative, verging on diet amount of butter”. It’s not movie theatre unless you get sick afterwards

Having a perfectionist attitude has made it very difficult to maintain weight during the pandemic. If I’m not working out every day, calorie tracking, closing goals, putting up numbers, getting results, I get really discouraged and fall off

So on the bag of pizza rolls the serving size is like 5 or something stupid right. But the cooking directions start at 20, so I mean who are we kidding with the 5

OH: I am literally Eren Jaegar. I’m like Light from Death note. It’s because I’m a Libra

If people throwing a fit about workplace inclusivity efforts really cared about focusing on the work as much as they say they do, they’d STFU and just make the changes and get back to work

For like the last 6 months or more my left ankle hurts every night and pops. This is it, fam. I am aged. I am dying. This is how it begins. My flesh is decaying. It’s all downhill from here

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