Toasted Figgun @deaduncledave@mastodon.social

Hi Mastodon, I killed my Twitter account a few weeks ago, and 15 minutes ago I pulled the plug on Facebook.

I wanna be your friend! We could talk about #bicycling or #Cheesemaking or #Baking or maybe #Writing? Maybe we could play frisbee and get a water-ice later?

How do I get into this scene?

Scrum master training. Woo.

#Agile #WhateverImStillGettingPaid

"Definitely looking forward to that. Best of luck. (That's not sarcasm. Honestly, best of luck!)"

When the comments on Hacker News have to carry this disclaimer with them, my views on the platform are only reinforced. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20683603

Hannah: I will fight anyone who wants to say that the tribal swooshes are better than 70s airbrushing.

Me: <3 <3 <3

Fort pillow is the DMZ of Mommy's and Daddy's bed.

Chicken is egg-bound.

Try to give the chicken electrolytes. Got pecked.

Try to massage chicken abdomen. Got pecked and squaked.

Try to give the chicken antacids. Got pecked and powdered antacids in the eyes.

Try to give the chicken a relaxing bath. GOT EGG!

...

Just kidding. Got pecked and splashed.

Chicken now resting on shower curtain rod. Will offer my own tender flesh to see if it's still up and fighting in the morning.

#chicken #pecked

Code comment OTD:

/*
Wrapping this project with Powershell is far more hassle than it's worth. Do not remove this commented-out code for it is a testimony and monument to my own hubris.

--DeadUncleDave
*/

Yerba Mansa glade, somewhere in the Middle Rio Grande Bosque.

Now look what you made me do.

1. Spend 90 minutes trying to construct a complex excel query.

2. Realize the data was already extracted and sorted elsewhere.

3. Flip table, eat bibimbap in the sun.

Excel: "The magic was inside you all along!"

For reference, Cholla is a genus of cactus native to the desert southwest of the United States, and IMHO is the meanest plant in all of North America. It's needles are barbed to enter flesh and then break off. They're also coated in formic acid, the venom produced by fire ants. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cylindropuntia

"Cholla-breath" medicated tea (For sore throats):

1. Yogi "Throat Comfort" tea, brewed for 7 minutes.

2. Store-brand cough drop, dissolved.

3. Juice of one half lemon.

4. 1 to 2 Tbsp unpasteurized honey.

5. 1.5 oz (50ml) "Barenjagar" honey liquor, or sub brandy if need be.

6. Sit on the couch, watch YouTube, feel wretchedly sorry for yourself.

For reference.

TODAY, FIGHTING THE SNIFFLES AND SIPPING TEA FROM MY GIANT SKULL-MUG: "Why are there mushroom bits in my Earl Grey??"

FIVE MONTHS AGO: "I gotta re-hydrate these damn mushrooms, but everything's in the damn wash."

Albuquerque summerfest. All of the car clubs are out, and the sun is shining bright.

"I was chairing a session on propellant synthesis at one of the big meetings, and found, on the program, that both Rocket-dyne and Allied were reporting on ONF3. I knew that they differed widely in their interpretations of the chemical bonding in the com-pound, so I rearranged the program to put the two papers back to back, in the hope of starting a fight. No luck, though — they were both too polite. Too bad."

Ignition! By John D. Clark

Lucky me, I get to follow this choad-warrior into work this morning.

Ugh, this day.

"Again? With the photos, again? Oy!"

I noticed a new tattoo parlor going into my neighborhood called Kool Kids tattoo, and observe two things:
1. I support teenagers getting tattoos before they go into high school in order to make a good impression on their class, and
2.despite owning several tattoos already I am both too old and to uncool to get a tattoo from Kool Kids tattoo.

Joe Dirt, but like, on a lot of Absinthe.