Toasted Figgun @deaduncledave@mastodon.social

Hi Mastodon, I killed my Twitter account a few weeks ago, and 15 minutes ago I pulled the plug on Facebook.

I wanna be your friend! We could talk about #bicycling or #Cheesemaking or #Baking or maybe #Writing? Maybe we could play frisbee and get a water-ice later?

How do I get into this scene?

Oshit, it's another #INTRODUCTION !

Me: 41 married cis white/hispanic male of many orientations.

Job: Coding, but also former cabbie, bouncer, plumber, busker.

Location: New Mexico. Ask me about Carne Adovada.

Interests: LOTS. I get bored easily.

Factoids: I've been mortally electrocuted twice. Once flirted with Christopher Walken. I can light my head on fire. I have two cats, 7 chickens, and a dozen houseplants.

I love stories. Tell me a story? 🇲🇲

Sure is a lot of flimflam on mastodon.social this morning. Had to block an xian account, and am now 🤨 at an account that claims to solve "most of todays problems."

Now the oven doesn't work. FFS.

You seem to have realized that your leaders are less correct than not, and often would've benefited had they taken your advice. We're not calling you Machiavellian per se, but your colleagues are probably not getting much sleep this week. We approve! From very far away. Perhaps the next country. (2/2)

CANCERIAN (June 21-July 22)
The Desert Nomads Astrology Committee To Boldly Promote Cancerian's Success is glad to see that you're not politely waiting for opportunities to come to you. Rather, you're tracking them down and dragging opportunities from their hovels to shiver and squint in the cold light of morning. (1/2)

Go to sleep.

H having a tough day at work means I get Bibimbap for dinner. Yay comfort food!

Tearing up a few dozen square feet of Bermuda grass. Oy my achin' everything.

Southwestern desert exploding pigeon.

Jesus Pico de Gato Ramirez and yours truly staring at birds in the back yard.

H: "How can you live in New Mexico and not know what Lent is?"
[PAUSE]
H: "I like how you have no response to that statement."
Me: "I'm still working on the idea that people don't know the difference between a lamb and a goat!"

(For the record neither of us are xian, but 1 outta 3 people in NM is Roman Catholic and they take Lent VERY seriously here.)

Y'all don't know how shockingly easy it is to make cornbread with Jiffy cornbread mix. No shit it was 30 minutes even with pre-heating the oven.

Hahaha fuck work and fuck western society so much for being nice I'm gonna drink a fifth of whiskey and throw rabid cats at people.

Can the length of a black hole event horizon be measured?

Asking for a friend.

The KLF went to the simple rustic farming folk of Norway to harvest only the finest in beeps and boops for your sanitary consumption.

Which was also programmed in part by Kurt Harland of InSoc. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Harland)

#SmallWorld

GEX: Enter The Gecko was written and voiced by Dana Gould. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gex:_Enter_the_Gecko)

Sure, its easy to feel tough when reaming about punching Nazi punks, but what about fighting cyborg marmots who're trying to bite your kneecaps off while you take a shit in a back porch outhouse?

Horrible violent nightmares sucking robbing my sleep and sucking joy from the day.

"Once I saw a cyclist run a stop sign therefore all cyclists are assholes."