all things i do in life i do solely to avoid doing other things

delchur boosted

internal monologue 

BRAIN: mastodon sure is nice. There are all these nice folks that are like minded that are engaging with you. that's good. that feels good
[pause]
BRAIN: too bad all of them are better than you and you don't deserve any of them and they're all gonna figure that out shortly enough

to anyone that’s done therapy, what makes for a good therapist? i’ve had a few sessions that have seemed ok (and it’s just a $30 copay for her office), but idk what my expectations should be for quality of care.

delchur boosted
delchur boosted

if communism's so good how come 'right' means 'correct' and 'left' is what my wife did

@hellashane for a time the highlight of any trip to the mall would be walking past the spider head tingler kiosk, aching for a tingle fix

delchur boosted

at 500 followers ill post my social and credit card information.

delchur boosted

*trys to fave a toot as it flies away*
"buh"
*tries again, clicks someone else's profile*
"Beh!"
*Follows a stranger, accidentally DMs most recent search history"
"BAH!"

delchur boosted
delchur boosted

yeah i got a welfare work requirement for you son it’s called “do your freaking chores”

we used to eat cookies, now we just get tracked by them damn

boost your own toot if you think it’s an idea who’s time has come

press backlash has been unreal since aoc banned phone weasels from public meetings

live in the moment
they call it the present because it’s a gift

@cjwyoming which is your favorite i prefer the pinky for ease of access

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