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Is the fastest way to a man's heart with a.) a power saw? or b.) a javelin?

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@SallyStrange @demonsthenes13 Love how people imply bi people are cheats constantly. No, that's just me (and I ensure consent always and make sure any potential partner knows I'm not exclusive)

Good afternoon tootie cuties 🌼💕
Make today wonderful! 💜 💕 💜 💕

WARNING: THIS JOKE ONLY MAKES SENSE FOR AMERICAN PEOPLE
why is it so warm in the corner of a room?
because it's 90 degrees!

sleep? its sleep. def want to sleep. but should i sleep? can i sleep? is sleep sleep? am i dreaming? are you? who cares. i mean i care. i care a lot but i cant sleep; but i need to sleep, but i dont want to sleep

Both male and female dwarves have beards because the dwarven larva cling to the beard in infancy

I have decided that if anybody thinks they are unimportant...I will personally color their face with a highlighter to prove how important they are :blobcat:

facts: when cats get that faraway stare in their eyes, it's because they are protecting your home by battling demons in the demon realm

Animals playing with pumpkins is such a very good, pure, sweet Google Image hole.

Everyone deserves food, water, healthcare, shelter, all the things they need to survive and have a basic enjoyment of life. They deserve those things regardless of whether others perceive their contributions to society as worthy of sustaining the resources they consume. They deserve those things regardless of any moral judgments others put on them. Even people you hate, even people who have done very bad things. No exceptions.

cat destructiveness Show more

Why do i have to travel 20 miles to get a burrito

Today's Spooky Frog is a fabulous specimen donated to us by @babe, who stumbled upon the scene while out picking herbs for a Tasty Soup, and later, for a Casserole. The ossified omens were found at the centre of a ten-foot blast radius of blackened grass, and through analysing the harsh compounds in the area, we believe that this was the result of a Spooky Witch Frog's magic spell having backfired, sadly taking her tiny cat familiar with her.

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