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Track Palin got arrested for domestic violence again, another Palin in hot water with the law.
Track Palin - domestic abuser
Trip Palin - coke head
Prib Palin - blew off a foot making moonshine
Tarp Palin - broke neck in a muddin' accident
Kart Palin - OD'd in a drinking contest

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To the tune of Fancy:

I'm John Candy
You already know
I'm not Chewbacca
I was playing Barfolomew

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putting my dick through a container of sushi in hopes of getting sucked off, cutting my dick on the plastic and getting agitated by spicy mayo in the process. I cringe and my hands shake trying to hold in a yell, but it’s all worth it because I love to put new twists on gross, outdated ideas.

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one time someone said Tim Allen is going to be the next gop nomination after Trump and I imagined and whole convention doing the grunting noise and was shaken to my fucking core

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day 384 on the all-meat Peterson Diet: in an interesting development, my ass and balls have switched places, so that my balls hang from my back, but my dick is where it used to be, poking out of my buttcheeks

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I’ll tell you this, every Hardee’s employee *prays* they never have to use their sidearm.

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I may get blocked for linking to twitter but this is so unbelievably funny I have to show it to you all day mobile.twitter.com/husbandsrev

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Pretty fucked up that John Deere invented a vehicle with blades on it that you can just use to drive over whatever the fuck living thing you want dead

the bear blowjob guy from The Shining should have a whole movie

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finished the last of the banana bread. dont say it looks like nutraloaf please

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finishing off the last of the bread pudding coffee cake i made the other day

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LOTTA PEOPLE TRYING TO FIGHT WITH ME AT THE FARMERS MARKET TODAY

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