I’m on a seafood diet- if I see food, I eat it! but only if it’s fish

north korea might be a nationalistic hell hole but at least they have their aesthetics down. the united states is just a tacky mess

Monster Hunter is the only thing keeping my self esteem intact

my brain is so irony poisoned that I would probably listen to the song that plays during the orange justice

i thought of ben shapiro doing the fortnite dance and in 24 hours i saw somebody make a video of it. basically i can will stupid shit into existence

Jimmy Jazz boosted

working out every part of my body except my arms. going for the Grimace look

drugs, not pugs. nothing is more fearsome than those wrinkled creatures

is hornt pronounced like “hornt” or “horn tea”

i am certain in another universe Bobby Flay would be a renowned steampunker

if we’re being real: feeling shitty is a top tier emotion. feeling good is overrated

its called socialism because the government will give you friends

the guy who runs the dog rates account is 100% a serial killer

i wish i had the brain of a chimp so i would never get embarrassed

if you are the first on mastodon to hit 100k tweets you break the simulation and see the real world

popeyes is the only thing that will save me now

when David Bowie said “rebel rebel” 2000 times in that one song, I felt it

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