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I have moved to @evan

See you there! Bye! If you want an account there, it's open sign up!

I have moved to @evan

See you there! Bye! If you want an account there, it's open sign up!

Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted

Just overheard a FedEx guy talking to his scanner. It said (in a Siri voice) "Signature Required" and he said "oh shut your corny ass up!" and then laughed to himself.

Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted

*slaps roof of a smart asses butt* this bad boy can fit so many shoes in it

Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted

Drama went down in one of my gardening Facebook groups today: some eejit dug up a plant from the wild and stuck it in his garden then posted to the group asking for an ID. Cue a massive rammy between people who are not happy about people pulling up whole plants from their natural habitat and OP cackling ‘ahaha, I’ve been stealing plants for 20 years and I’ll do it again!’ like some shite plant supervillain

Evan Walsh boosted

last I had a dream where I:
- killed a head of state with a hand grenade
- saw a bunch of arcade machines on a street corner
- found out a co-worker wanted to back out of a planned marriage
- was clowned on by teens for wearing an apple watch

Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted

My wife’s been sick all week so I’ve been kinda running the household. This translates roughly into “I just burned my mouth real bad eating spaghetti-o’s straight out the pot.”

Evan Walsh boosted

I did the thing with the mouth and the spaghetti-os again

Evan Walsh boosted

A cop pulled me over to helpfully let me know that a left turn I've been taking since like 2003 is now an illegal left. I asked him how people are supposed to drive around San Francisco with all the random no left turn signs they've been throwing up lately and he said "I don't think they want anyone driving anymore!"

I am impossibly pissed about all this. Like way more than I even should be.

Evan Walsh boosted

"ROBOTNIK" MEANS WORKER IN RUSSIAN. THE SONIC FRANCHISE DEMONIZES THE PROLETARIAT BY MAKING WORKERS THE ENEMY OF SONIC, THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO RUNS AROUND STEALING EVERYONE'S GOLDEN RINGS (CAPITAL).

SONIC 👏 IS 👏 CLASSIST 👏

Evan Walsh boosted

The new tumblr inspired "micro" UI is ready! It will be released with federation support.

Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted

❝I don’t believe our species can survive unless we fix this (social media).
We cannot have a society in which, if two people wish to communicate, the only way that can happen is if it’s financed by a third person who wishes to manipulate them.❞
— Jaron Lanier

Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted
Evan Walsh boosted

I'll soon be retiring from my career in luxury hotel architecture 

THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

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