Eyebrows McGee @eyebrows@mastodon.social

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, eating his head, because I'm a praying mantis.

Attempting to explain the plot of #rent to my 7-year-old musical fan, it's not going great! #RentLive

Got a new phone.

Hate it.

TFW you find out your mom is writing a crime novel starring a protagonist just like her except instead of four children, she only has two. WHICH TWO?!!?!?!?

My friend's husband is sad because they're barely celebrating his birthday BECAUSE SHE DELIVERED A PREMATURE BABY IN AN EMERGENCY C-SECTION LAST WEEK SO SHE DIDN'T FINISH SHOPPING and he's busy having a sad and I'm like BITCH YOU GET ZERO BIRTHDAYS THIS YEAR AND SHE GETS SIX, PLUS THE SPINAL WORE OFF MID-SURGERY SO SHE GETS BONUS JEWELRY

Pretty sure I only want to fall in love with men who dance the #Ländler with me #ChristopherPlummer #Plummersexual

I'm at the ball scene in #SoundofMusic and the Nazis are getting pissy about the #Austrian flag! This was all VERY CONFUSING when my mom wouldn't let me watch the end of the movie!

(I'm sure she would have let ME watch the last part in high school but my youngest brother was 12 years younger so she still cut it off for the 6-year-old!)

I'm watching the Sound of Music -- until I was in college, I thought it ended at the wedding, because my mother didn't let us watch the last part where the Nazis get serious. I was REALLY SURPRISED to discover there was another 45 minutes with terrifying Nazis! #soundofmusic #holidays #christmas #julieandrews #rolfsucks

Bottom right is definitely the one I use the most because it's the "power plus" burner so it boils faster. Second favorite is top left; I prefer to use the back burners when I can to reduce the risk of small people touching hot things!

WHICH IS YOURS? I gotta know! #questions #importantquestions #adulting #adult #cooking #survey #poll

This week, my 7yo's homemade salad mix for school lunches includes green bibb lettuce, swiss chard, kale, bok choy, endive, shredded broccoli stem, shredded carrots, and diced nopales. He was bored of all the regular stuff so we added CACTUS. 🙄THIS CHILD.🙄
#salad #vegetables #schoollunch #gourmet #parenting

I am obsessed with this local meteorologist. She's fairly cookie-cutter TV-pretty until she starts talking, at which point she morphs into your 5-year-old niece who's already a giant nerd and has an AWESOME NEW TOY to tell you about.

It's really fascinating how she goes from "blandly pretty" to "OMG I really want to talk about weather with you, you seem so fun!"

(But like, yay that she has so much enthusiasm for her job, good for her!)

Thinking too hard about #Voyager 2 leaving the solar system makes me sad. 😢 Fly on, little robot journeyer! #space #nasa

Been waiting for quiet time to myself all day, and now that I have it I can't figure out what to do with it!

Just a normal day in a normal country where the normal president is committing a normal number of felonies ...

Illinois Bicentennial Fact: In 1969, when the Stonewall Riots happened, Illinois was the only state in the union where gay sex was legal, the state having decriminalized it in 1962. It was almost a decade (1971), and some serious riots!, before another state (CT) joined us! #illinois #IL200 #lgbt #stonewall

(I mean, I'm Catholic, I assume God 24/7 wants me to drink that wine. But double extra when it's a screw cap.)

It's like God wants you to drink that wine

The world's best feeling is when you've had a shitty day, and you go to get a glass of wine, and you have to open a new bottle, AND THE BOTTLE IS A SCREW CAP.

My 7-year-old son will only pack salad for his school lunch, and they're getting ever more elaborate. This week his salad mix is baby spinach, red cabbage, chopped parsley, red onion, cherry tomatoes, carrot shreds, thinly-sliced radishes, and grated sunchoke. I do the sharp knife parts and he does everything else, and then we make a balsamic vinaigrette.

His teachers keep asking if he can pack their lunches too.