Eyebrows McGee @eyebrows@mastodon.social

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, eating his head, because I'm a praying mantis.

Leftovers from dinner, obvs!

I'm constantly like, Did you show your lunch to your coworkers? And my husband is like, "What? No! That's weird!" but I think he should since I make them so pretty!

Pork tenderloin in a garlic-herb marinade, new potatoes in same, couscous with pine nuts, steamed green beans.

I told my husband I was getting our daughter some spanky pants for summer, and it has spiraled out into this enormous debate about the proper terms for diaper covers, basically!

Okay so this is now a whole thing:

How would you define "spanky pants"?

What do you call the piece of clothing that covers a toddler girl's diaper, usually under a skirt or tunic?

Told my kids to stop wrestling or one of them would get poked in the eye. They did not stop wrestling. One got poked in the eye.

They are very angry with me, because SOMEHOW THIS IS MY FAULT. 👉 👁

Splashed boiling water on my stomach. Awesome burn. 😡

That does not look like a tulip, that looks like Audrey II!

Ready for spring any time now ... 🌷

I'm hooked on Love Nikki Dress UP Queen and I can't stop plaaaaaaaaying! #lovenikki

My 6-year-old is refusing to participate in science fair this year because he's STILL MAD I didn't let him do his first-choice project last year, which was to create a hurricane. Not a model one, a real one. Which I didn't let him do because I'm not a supervillain who controls the weather, and he is apparently STILL MAD about that.

Very aggravating when I get the kitchen all clean before the weekend (I work Fri/Sat) and when I finish on Saturday night, NOBODY HAS DONE ANY DISHES IN TWO SOLID DAYS and there are literally no clean dishes or utensils left and there are spills all over the counter that have been drying on for two days.

Of course I had to clean it myself just now because people who haven't been arsed to clear their dishes from the table in two days aren't going to.

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its tiny brooms! 🥇🥈🥉

Tetris and Olympics, a good weekend.

Cat is super-determined to eat my toes.

Thoughts on The Good Doctor?

Made this. SO GOOD. Although I can feel my arteries clogging as I digest! https://skillet.lifehacker.com/this-monte-cristo-casserole-is-the-perfect-combination-1821331757

Leftovers from dinner tonight: whole wheat pasta with sauteed kale, garlic, and parmesan; lemon-oregano chicken; blistered tomatoes. So pretty in my divided container! 🍝🌿🍋🐔🍅 https://mastodon.social/media/ilY9rErAYMfcRBIIg-Y

I LOVE MY ROBOT VACUUM! Why didn't I buy a robot vacuum years ago? This is AWESOME.

This is a pretty freaking entertaining Golden Globes.

Hired a personal trainer. Spendy, but I think it will be worth it to have less pain and more energy. Even just the assessment today kicked my ass.