I'm not a religious person by any means, but there's something about funeral ceremonies that makes it easier for me to accept and come to terms with the loss of a beloved person.

It's also one of those rare moments in life, where the world around you stops turning for just a few minutes, and all your problems and sorrows seem minuscule, almost crushed by the weight of a much, much more significant feeling.

It gives you the chance to stop and re-evaluate life and its meaning for a brief moment.

@fribbledom I want this played at my funeral, as it covers the grief, but in the last part shows joy and hope for those remaining.

i'm sorry for your loss. I have services to attend on Monday, so, I'm there with you.


Stay strong! I wish I had anything encouraging to say to you, but I hope the ceremony brings you some of the peace and calm we all need in those moments.

@fribbledom There's a reason these things are there!

And my Grandpa had a non-religious service, and it wasn't all that different from a religious one. It just kinda makes sense to do it that way.

Though: If you want something else, or if this doesn't work for _you_, then that's valid! Everyone grieves differently.

@hirnbrot @fribbledom
We had a corpse viewing when my dad died. Which is traditional in my family.
It's before the funeral and just after the person dies and tbh I don't know how I would have handled the funeral without doing that.

@hirnbrot @fribbledom what I mean is - rituals - the shared and comfortably scripted shared grief can not be understated. We're human. When we're scared and lonely we seek the company of others and we seek comfort.

@ohyran @fribbledom That sounds kind of weird to me, to be honest.

But these rituals differ quite a bit between cultures, and familiarity is probably important.

@hirnbrot @fribbledom

Well here you can ask at the hospital and say you want to do a corpse viewing or corpse watch, and they set it up.
Basically you go there and its this private room with some candles, flowers, chairs and sometimes music, and in the middle on platform thing is the deceased. Usually dressed in what is provided or hospital gown. You sit there for as long as you need, then tell them you're done on the way out.

@hirnbrot @fribbledom

Depending on how they died - it can be at their home (which takes more fiddling), or it can be just after they died. Sometimes it's a long winded thing where you sit through the night - usually its just a couple of hours until everyone's bored.

Either way the benefit, I think, is that it's very clear. Finite. You KNOW the person is dead because they look like themselves but still not and when you leave its sort of over in your mind and grief is easier

@ohyran @fribbledom

I can totally see how that makes it clear! Seeing is believing and such!

In the US something like this is quite common, and it involves some rather weird makeup to make the deceased presentable.

Do they do that here as well?

@hirnbrot @fribbledom

No its just "as is". So its very much looking at a corpse-corpse.

You can have a lit de parade funeral - but that's uncommon and it would cost a ton.

@ohyran @fribbledom One interesting way to deal with grief: Record an album.

One of the people from Linkin Park (Mike Shinoda) did just that after their lead singer (Chester Bennington) died -

@fribbledom I feel like the reason for that is that such ceremonies provide a feeling of closure.

@fribbledom I’m sorry for your loss. I feel the same way: Ritual is important and helps us cope with things, even though it is ultimately meaningless.

@fribbledom Counterpoint: funerals are an awesome way to tear apart old scars which haven't fully healed

@fribbledom I'm really sorry that you lost someone important. The reason a burial ceremony makes it so much easier to accept that a person died and won't be coming back is that there is a ceremony taking place that is designed explicitly to convey this message and to say goodbye forever. By allowing yourself to get into this state of mind of letting someone go, and by building the environment, you can let them go more freely. That's what is behind these burials.

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