If you could end COVID-19 by sacrificing one programming language, which one would you choose and why is it PHP?

nooooooooo, pick any language but Python!

I vote for visual Basic, on the grounds that I have no love for it, it's neither elegant nor easy, does not teach you anything but I've had to learn it at some point. So I'm not killing some language I don't even have a relation to.

oh come on -- if you're going to diss my favourite, you should at least have an argument of some sorts...

@Mr_Teatime @fribbledom All the Python people either say it's a non issue, I'm making it up, it's a feature not a design flaw or it was required to have the language grow.

I'm tired of having the same arguments over and over again.

See, I think you're completely free not to like Python for whatever reason you choose -- as long as you're okay with me absolutely adoring it.

Realistically, I'm quite aware that it has limitations and isn't the best solution for every problem -- but it's certainly made it much harder for other languages to appeal to me.

I suspect it might just not be good for whatever it is you like to implement (e.g. fast/bulletproof code), or the way you prefer to write it.

@fribbledom If y'all could wait until Monday in that case, I would really appreciate it. 😅 I just need PHP to exist until after this demo 😛

@fribbledom Do all of the languages influenced by it magically go away, too? If so, I pick ALGOL. ALGOL without a second thought.
@fribbledom i have a bigger grudge against javascript to be honest, but php is also a good candidate :shrug_akko:

@fribbledom i think there's a really strong argument that murdering Cobol would measurably improve the world

@fribbledom I don't know why you misspelled Swift as PHP, but sure, I'd wipe it out.

(alternate: Rust, but that's more a social problem than the hideous language itself)

@mdhughes @fribbledom the trouble with wiping out Rust is that people are still tremendously dedicated. They would just rebuild it. Now PHP...nobody would want that back.

@fribbledom i hate javascript just as much as the next person but if you think it's worse than PHP you're very mistaken

It may not be worse of a language, but it's the only one that works in a web browser. By removing JS, you make it so that the web is no longer a platform for developing applications.

PHP on someone else's websote can't hurt you.
JS on someone else's website can.

@wolf480pl @xnx38h @fribbledom Also some file formats, such as epub, use/allow JavaScript "b/c reasons".
So those file formats would become safer as well.

@fribbledom definitely javascript, or maybe python...

Haven't used enough php to hate it yet, but I've heard stories.

@gcrkrause @fribbledom that's debatable...

I'm a very strong believer in strong typing, and that a function should have one return type and not be able to pass/assign whatever you want to anything...

(That's not to say you can't create datatypes that can represent multiple types, you can have things like union values that can represent multiple types, they just need to be explicitly defined)

@gaurdianaq @fribbledom jeah thats totally true for programming languages, but thats not really what Python is made for from my point of view.

@gcrkrause @fribbledom I was under the impression python was made to be a general purpose programming language?

What would you say it's meant for?

@gaurdianaq @fribbledom well, maybe thats actually, what its made for. what i wanted to say is: its not what I think Python is great for.

For example I think python is a great language for learning, for prototyping, for some linux scripting if bash scripts are not capable.

@gcrkrause @fribbledom I can agree about prototyping, though I feel like if it's your first language it could let you learn some bad habits that won't really transfer well to other languages, and I'd guess it's probably easier to go from say, java to python than the other way around

@gaurdianaq You can learn bad habits everywhere, its not really the job of the language to prevent this. But at least you are enforced to do proper indentation and have some semantic sugar which lowers the mental load while reading and writing (thinking about something like "if var is not whatever"

@Newpa_Hasai @fribbledom why would anyone throw away a low level language like c? O.o

@fribbledom Do instruction sets qualify as programming languages? They are the language used to make the hardware do what you want, after all. Because, in that case, x86, to maximize damage.

@kekcoin @fribbledom Absolute. I mean assembler isn't much more then the instruction set mapped in shortcuts and nobody complains about it not being a programming language. So absolute!

@fribbledom Is it an option to keep both in sealed vials in my basement, to serve as a threat to future generations?

@fribbledom I’d end VBS, VBA, and PowerShell.

Not taking questions at this time. ( :joy_cat: )

@fribbledom i would choose Visual J++, which is a real language by none other than microsoft


@fribbledom I was going to actually choose COBOL, because that kind of Hell should no longer exist. It is the 21st century, after all.

Can someone explain to me the hate that #php gets? I find it to be a pretty decent and mature oop language. Especially considering its beginnings.

@yisraeldov @fribbledom I don't know either!

There are of course inconsistencies among because as you said if you consider its beginnings it was designed for a completely other usecase.

The good part is that php is getting improved with new and up to date features.

@fribbledom I'd sacrifice JavaScript, really. It's a language designed for a different purpose than what it is being put to use for today. Things have been added, but it's all mostly syntactic sugar. PHP gets hell for its syntax, but anyone taken a good look at the proposal for declaring private methods/properties in JavaScript? It's so bad the issue tracker for the standard is full of complaints, yet they plowed ahead anyway.

@fribbledom I thought I'd be unpopular for suggesting javascript, but I guess not! Some of the things it's being used for is criminal.

JavaScript. Sorry, not sorry.

Not a bad language in itself, but the most abused language of all time.

@fribbledom would brainf*ck count? At least that doesn't mean anyone loses their job ^^

@fribbledom C/C++

I'm a bit disappointed there's only one vote for them (thanks @Newpa_Hasai ); their lack of memory safety makes them unfit for all but a tiny niche use (small drivers, embedded code, very low-level OS components) for which most of C++ isn't useful anyway.

@fribbledom Ich hab zu solchem Mist letztes Jahr mal nen Twitterthread geschrieben. Vielleicht regt er dich ja zum Nachdenken an. (Und @skyr, der das geboostet hat, gleich mit.) Und wenn du keinen Bock auf Twitter hast, gibt's diesen Blogbeitrag:

@scy @skyr

Grundsätzlich geb ich dir Recht, ... aber:

Nie würde ich einen PHP Entwickler als "Verlierer" oder gar als "dumm" bezeichnen. Ich mache mich auch nicht über PHP Entwickler lustig und versuche ihre Arbeit nicht geringzuschätzen.

Das bedeutet aber nicht, dass ich mich nicht über die Sprache PHP ansich amüsieren kann. Denn ja, ich halte sie für schlecht designed und für grundsätzlich überholt.

Und dieses Recht steht mir meiner Meinung nach auch zu:


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