I would love to see one of those "taking the expert out of retirement" movie plot movies realistically for computer people.

"I told you I'm done with that shit. I gave that up long ago."
"We need to bring you back in Dirk, the country needs you."
"Find somebody else."
"Nobody else can parse JSON and build scrolling grids of images like you. You're the best fuckin' upsell UI man in the business."

"The year is 9998 and we understand that you know something called 'COBOL'"

@goosey @gabek After my mum quit programming, she had recruiters begging her to come back with her COBOL knowledge for years. She could have made a lot of money with contract work if she'd wanted. It's a real thing. There are systems from the 1970s still running in big financial companies and nobody knows how to fix them.

@y6nH @goosey @gabek There are some British banks that have computers emulating systems to run code so old that the currency is pre-decimal!

@gabek I have long had a feeling that this is going to happen to me one day in some kind of "Fantastic Voyage" scenario where they need an old sysadmin to go INSIDE the container to fix the app environment at a lower level than anyone touches any more.


"I'll do it... but on one condition."
"What? Anything! The fate of the Free World is at stake!"
"We do it *my* way. 100% C++, no libraries, -j 1... we go in clean and come out hard. And if I see ONE goddamn line of #PHP or #Javascript, this whole deal's OFF!"
"You're a madman!"
"Maybe I am... but I'm the madman who can save the Presidents life, so... what's it gunna be?"
"This is crazy, I tell you. Crazy!... But dammit... fine."
"Oh and I use #Arch by the way."


@Blort @gabek
The story might sound less convincing with Rust, but as a C++ dev I'm not sure I'd consider it clean. 😎

@gabek wouldn't it be more like "Come back, you are the only guy who ever really understood this ton of COBOL code you wrote 50 years ago".

And it could probably be based on a real story 🧙‍♂️

@gabek the movie "Blackhat" (2015) had this kind of theme, but the expert was in prison, not retirement, so not quite what you're looking for...

@gabek The bomb is wired up to the GPIO pins on a Raspberry Pi and it's running Haiku OS. You're the only one who can help.

@gabek This reminds me of a Sci-fi novel I've read a few years back in which there are no more programmers, but programmer archeologists, because all programming problems have already been solved, but you have someone who can find the relevant code for the current issue 😂

@gabek More likely:
"No-one else knows how to read COBOL anymore!"

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