"FREE Delivery Tomorrow

"Get it faster by 8AM with FREE delivery if you order $35 of qualifying items within 3 hrs and 44 mins."

AMAZON NO

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Seriously, who thinks, "no, next-day delivery of a book of comic strips is NOT FAST ENOUGH, I need it by 8am."

Who thinks, "You know what, Amazon delivery trucks are not killing enough people after school and work, we need them to be racing around on the roads during the morning rush hour as well. We need those desperate gig workers struggling to meet a morning deadline as well as the unrealistic evening one."

(The second thought: Jeff Bezos, apparently. The first thought: I dunno but not me.)

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