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Today's six word tragedy: "Chuck E. Cheese, carry out only."

I guess I'm glad in These Troubled Times that *my* grocery just doesn't do substitutions.

"Loose" straight-up did me in.

Things you learn when nobody is out driving: the 55mph four-lane divided highway near us will stop you at EVERY SINGLE LIGHT. And there are a lot of lights.

I mean, I'm used to hitting every light (really, I just avoided it altogether whenever possible) I just assumed it was because you never got over 30mph in normal traffic.

Another food tip: scallions (green onions) will regrow from bulbs if they have enough roots left to recover when you put them in water. They're not as flavorful, and you'll need to leave the last half-inch to inch as the "bulb" (or the actual bulb part if it's got some shape to it) but if you can't get to the store to get properly-grown ones, they'll do.

Now that all the interviews are taking place remotely, someone needs to make a news podcast/radio interview Background Noise Bingo Card.

(I can so far check off Barking Dog, Text Notification, Slack Notification and, just now, Interviewee's Voice On Their Outgoing Answering Machine Message *While* They're Talking which I was surprised to realize was still a thing but then remembered that, technically our Ooma would do that if in fact anyone ever *called* us on that line.)

FOOD TIP: Aquafaba, the liquid from cooking chickpeas (garbanzos) is a weird and magical egg substitute. Kitchn has a pretty good explainer:

They refer to canned ones but if you're cooking from dried, the liquid still works although if you're like me, you have to cook it down before it's egg-equivalent.

coronavirus, Solemn Brand Letters grocery edition 

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The map in the background here is entirely my jam, so I had to look up the two things near me.

The [Campbell] Soup Tureen Museum is now a collection at Winterthur in Delaware. The Capital Punishment Museum is, per Roadside America, gone (though the collection may have gone to the NJ State Museum).

coronavirus, Solemn Brand Letters grocery edition 

coronavirus, Solemn Brand Letters 

coronavirus, grocery update 

@gamehawk And if you have a septic system, you'll be spending hundreds to get it cleaned out!

You can use this as an example of "diversity matters in unexpected ways": I would not know this if I had never had Mexican neighbors and latchkey'd their kindergartener, who always put his toilet paper in the trash instead of the toilet. Flushable toilet paper is a very American thing, apparently?

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PSA for Americans who may not know this: facial tissue substitutes for bathroom tissue EXCEPT it is not flushable. It *will* block your pipes, much more easily than you expected.

coronavirus (grocery pickup) 

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