sitting on my own dick and cumming inside my ass, and nine months later giving birth to myself out of my ass

This is literally the funniest toot I've ever written if you don't fave and boost this I'm blocking your ass

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@harry your just a jealous bitch who wishes he could write a post as funny as "sitting on my own dick and cumming inside my ass, and nine months later giving birth to myself out of my ass"

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@garfiald how does all this tie into hijinx that pester John? Pestering john is still a job of yours.

@garfiald and thus the first exhibit of jurassic park was born

@garfiald gonna like n boost all ur toots apart from this one

@garfiald do u think some people read ur toots with an american accent? that shit cray aint it jay

@harry at this point everyone knows I'm British and/or has heard my voice but I have heard that people read my shit in Lorenzo music or bill Murray's voice which is ok In my book

@garfiald surely only a yank could produce such a gem as "sufjan stevens' middlesex"

@harry I'm glad you enjoyed that bit. It was pretty funny to me

@garfiald once i got the joke u better believe that i was howlin

@Spacedrake we're growing and learning everyday. they have so much to teach me and it's a blessing

@wintgenstein I mean if your telling me to stop posting shouldn't the human hand be the orange kitty leg

@garfiald what's the plot synopsis of freddy got fingered doing here

@em @realmaxkeeble idk to be honest i feel like this is one of those "is fucking your clone gay" questions

@garfiald @em does anyone say “no” to the fucking your clone question? Like, everyone would do it right?

@realmaxkeeble @em idk.... its a weird thing to twist around in your mind i guess. like obviously nobody knows what you like like you do but also i dont get super horny thinking about myself either (surprisingly)

@garfiald @em oh I don’t get horny thinking about myself, but I do know I would 100% do it

@realmaxkeeble @garfiald @em i'd shove my clone in front of a truck, personally, and I'm quite sure he'd do the same to me

@garfiald thank god this got boosted again, my day is improved

@garfiald '—All You Zombies—' (Robert Heinlein, 1959)

@garfiald Some real "I'm Sorry, Jon" territory there, friend.

@garfiald you could have carried yourself to term in the time since this post, coward

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