broke: assuming everyone on the web goes by he/him

joke: referring to people by they/them until you are familiar with their pronouns

woke: checking the profiles of everyone you talk to to find out their pronouns

bespoke: regularly checking the profiles of even your oldest mufos to see if their pronouns have changed because you respect their agency and want to give them space to blossom

@garfiald whatever comes after bespoke: having an app that checks their profiles for you and automatically inserts the correct pronoun

the word you were looking for here was "artichoke"

And ultimate level: understanding that not everyone who interacts with you has intimate knowledge of you, and might make a mistake, and you accept that and move on with life, and maybe gently correct them if they at least make an attempt to be accomadating to your preferences.

@UberGeek you dont need "intimate knowledge" of someone to check their profile bios and see if they've listed their pronouns

You also dont need to expect people to always stay up to date on changes for someone on the internet, either.

@UberGeek is that so? Which of these sounds like more of an inconvenience:

- spending 10 seconds at most clicking onto someone's profile before you talk to them


- being made to feel dysphoric, and being denied your ability to freely self-identify, i.e. your very personhood

"People on the internet" are still people, and if you're too lazy for the bare minimum of empathy, it's not likely that people are gonna sympathise when you complain about being called out for it

Both are. But my point is dont expect the world to remain up to date with your personal changing circumstance 100% of the time.

Perpetual victimhood, and being angry all the time because of perceived slights is just unhealthy.

@garfiald Clearly we need pronoun federation! I'm not even entirely joking.

@garfiald (Also, I will continue referring to everyone by they/them IRL because I've literally messed it up my entire life otherwise, the way gender is allocated in language just somehow never caught any traction in my mind; for instance if I'm not being careful and I'm using gendered pronouns when talking about someone's siblings, I will nearly always say "his brother" or "her sister" since the linguistic part of my brain just goes "well the gender flows that way obviously"...)

@garfiald The amount of people I've had get mad because I politely suggested reading profiles before assuming pronouns as if it's offensive to suggest doing a thing that takes a few seconds

@garfiald yo garf i just wanna remind u. u are a GREAT fuckin ally and i love u

@citrustwee omg eve thank you so much... that means so much to me honestly... i love u queen your such a great friend

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