ah fuck i got my dick jammed in 2018. hold on a second

tryna dislodge this darn thing from in between the jordan peterson book and saudi arabias tweet in which they admit to doing 9/11

i would try and yank my cock out of 2018 in a single brutal motion but im scared my shit is gonna get caught on mahmoud ahmadinejad going on chapo and get me adult-circumcised

fuck now my foreskin has gotten stuck in sicko mode and its started spinning faster and faster


OK just got my penis unstuck from inside the cogs of 2018!! now, time to gentle pull it out of the year.... oh FUCK tekashi69 just stepped onto my bellend, telling me to let my nuts hang!

ok now he's trying to sell me a CD of "Scorpion" by drake... tekashi what the fuck... nobody remembers that album... get off my dick (literally)

ok he's finally stepped off after i performed a perfect rendition of "This Is America" from memory... its fucking lucky that he caught me on a good day... anyway, if i can just get my benis past louis ck and kevin spacey desperately grabbing at it like its gonna give them their relevance back, i just mite be able to bring my cock into 2019 with the rest of me!!!

phew! just managed to get my dick and balls out of 2018 intact! a fucking miracle if you ask me. lets just hope that 2019 isn't gonna harbour any bad surprises of that kind!

But, whats this i see just around the corner? is it? photorealistic Mister Mime?! And hes holding a pair of scisso-

@Lumb he'll yeah just saved my "dick and balls" from the year which as just passed. how you doin?

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