ill post a hot take for every boost this toot gets

musicals are for rich white people, saying you like them is telling on yourself

christopher nolan sucks. but jonathan is a genius

they should make it illegal to speak english

it would actually be good for ebooks to destroy the book industry because people who read deserve to get a headache for it

people dunk on bill clinton because they're haters and jealous

friendships on the internet are actually MORE fake and parasocial AFTER you meet the people in person and become friends who hang out irl

people who boosted the post that started this thread are partaking in schadenfreude by wanting to see me get canceled, which is cringe culture, and therefore fascist (this counts as a hot take)

hippopotamuses are the capitalists of the animal kingdom

boris johnson is actually doing a postmodernism, which is subversive and leftist

young people like electronic music because they're afraid of skills

the antifa leadership is actually super problematic so lets just say if i see that your associated with them i am giving you the BIGGEST side-eye

having a big dick actually really sucks. nobody should do it

guitar is a good and positive instrument. piano? deeply malevolent

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foreplay is actually kinda oppressive

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the pope: secretly an ally. the pope is working on a secret plan to dismantle the deep state of the vatican (the deep vat)

food 

people need to stop making "mastodon is crumbling" jokes because they make me hungry for crumble

food 

that maggot cheese looks delicious, id eat it

screenshot dunking and quote tweeting is actually good. people are opposed to it because their actually afraid of revolutionary violence

all teachers are cops. wait somebody already did this one

call me by your name is a trash movie because the title is too confusing

people who have opinions about tool are nerds who should be oppressed

if you know any fediverse people irl your oppressing the rest of us who dont have friends

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@garfiald ive met like 8 fedi people and live with 2 of them and this post makes me feel oppressed

@garfiald

The effect of these littered in my timeline among other more natural and harmonious toots is of getting hit in the face with a slimy fish out of the blue.

You are a good for nothing tootmonger

@garfiald

I hope one day you get stuck in a freak storm that rains fish and you look down and realize this is what you have been doing to the rest of us for all this time

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