ill post a hot take for every boost this toot gets
game of thrones was always bad
PIV sex is actually awful
musicals are for rich white people, saying you like them is telling on yourself
christopher nolan sucks. but jonathan is a genius
they should make it illegal to speak english
it would actually be good for ebooks to destroy the book industry because people who read deserve to get a headache for it
sucker punch is the best zack snyder movie
people dunk on bill clinton because they're haters and jealous
every youtuber is racist
friendships on the internet are actually MORE fake and parasocial AFTER you meet the people in person and become friends who hang out irl
people who boosted the post that started this thread are partaking in schadenfreude by wanting to see me get canceled, which is cringe culture, and therefore fascist (this counts as a hot take)
music: trash. who needs it
hippopotamuses are the capitalists of the animal kingdom
boris johnson is actually doing a postmodernism, which is subversive and leftist
young people like electronic music because they're afraid of skills
the antifa leadership is actually super problematic so lets just say if i see that your associated with them i am giving you the BIGGEST side-eye
having a big dick actually really sucks. nobody should do it
it is morally evil to do well at school
guitar is a good and positive instrument. piano? deeply malevolent
foreplay is actually kinda oppressive
the pope: secretly an ally. the pope is working on a secret plan to dismantle the deep state of the vatican (the deep vat)
mariachi band music is better than hip hop
food
people need to stop making "mastodon is crumbling" jokes because they make me hungry for crumble
food
snails are good
food
offal tastes good
food
that maggot cheese looks delicious, id eat it
avril lavigne is better than ariana grande
mastodon is friendster for zoomers
they should bring back google +
they should make it impossible to mute me
screenshot dunking and quote tweeting is actually good. people are opposed to it because their actually afraid of revolutionary violence
VR is the future of gaming
all teachers are cops. wait somebody already did this one
e girls are cops and reply guys are antifa
call me by your name is a trash movie because the title is too confusing
super mario is anime
if you know any fediverse people irl your oppressing the rest of us who dont have friends
tuba is just a better synth
i am the shakira of mastodon
it is always better to call someone and leave a message than to text them. sending someone a voice message without calling them first? you should be arrested
you should NOT be allowed to dress in joker cosplay if you are not twisted or damaged, i do NOT want to see any more jokerface on my tl
mao had a thick, juicy ass
historical parallels are always wrong and fucking bullshit
things online discourse needs more of
- arguments!! by!! definition!!!
- believing only 1 thing can be bad, not two
the rita mitsouko only recorded one good song
@garfiald garf please for the love of god
@bclindner the people who boosted the og post are to blame
@garfiald me and my mental image of mao's thickness disagrees
@garfiald
Predicting historical perpendiculars however is how I won the stocks market and coincidentally the title of my new book
@garfiald usually I just laugh at your shitposts but this one got me rationally angery shit the fcku up
@garfiald mao the dong
@garfiald you know sometimes you can leave a thought *inside* your head
do not open this
re: do not open this
@jacethechicken @garfiald I'm so sorry
re: do not open this
@Breakfast @garfiald you should be
re: do not open this
@jacethechicken @garfiald Listen I gotta make a post bad enough for the CCP to send an assassin, and you can't make any dick jokes with xi jinping
@garfiald so you can bellydance and its hot???
@garfiald gimme some truth, hips.
@garfiald your hips don’t lie?
@garfiald UM excuse me???
@garfiald your probably right somehow
people who have opinions about tool are nerds who should be oppressed