geopsychic @geopsychic@mastodon.social

Musicians always strive to be noteworthy.

I have been offline for a while. I woke up and realized I was in a hospital with no idea why I was there. I have a hole drilled in my skull for a pathology test. In two or three weeks I will start chemo and radiation for six weeks.

What is the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

After the Trump - Kim summit, will they rebranding the Ryugyong Hotel to the Trump Pyongyang?

When you are making sure you are on the same page with someone, also be sure they are in the same book and they know how to read.

As I get older I think about the people I've lost a long the way.
Maybe being a tour guide wasn't the right career.

I went for a run but came home after 2 minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes.

It is a good thing farting is not contagious like yawning is.

Conjunctivitis.com
A site for sore eyes.

A new study found that people eat more bananas than monkeys. I don't remember the last time I ate monkey.

Late night visitor. One of the cats brought it in. Didn't seem to be hurt.

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Bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today.

Sprayed it all over myself, I still can't fly.

The wife said, "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"

What strange way to start a conversation with me.

Incels have it wrong. They aren't involuntarily celebrate. The voluntary part is from EVERYONE ELSE.

I had to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.

Schrodinger's Immigrant:

A person who lounges around all day on welfare while simultaneously stealing your job.

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How to handle stress.
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are chirping in the cool, crisp mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows of this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from "the world".
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding underwater.
Feel better?

Not my idea but it has merit.

"I believe the only way to save Hawaii is to sacrifice a sitting president to the angry volcano."