Pinned toot
Pinned toot

what they don't tell you about the rainbow bridge is that if someone's pet trips and falls off they just keep falling forever

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

stop asking me whats up. the answer is always gonna be not much, just chilling. im always chilling. itll never change. even as i write this i am chilling

im going to become a comedian and get really good at interviewing people. im gonna work my ass off for years not because i like it, but because i want more than anything to steal james corden's job and force him out of the country

sorry for my recent behavior ive been watching a lot of british panel shows on youtube and they made me a little bit rowdy

can't wait to get married to a very wealthy old man and then push him down our ornate staircase

Patrick Wilson has the face of a handsome serial killer who tries to lure you back to his car and you're like "i'm not sure this man really needs me to help move his canoe but i'm gonna follow him anyway against my better judgment"

It's weird when old people get all blotchy and red in that way only old people skin can get. it's like their skin knows they're gonna die soon

a response: explicit laughing, abbreviation, unsolicited compliment 

Matt changes his profile pic and display name constantly but I can always tell when it's him in my notifications because of the choices he makes in favoriting things

@ghostwife I will absolutely never click on or interact with a cw misinformation because its insulting

some of y'all post like this and it's sickening:

CW: misinformation, stinging insects, sh*tposting, genitals, puns, implied violence, emoji spam
-------
Bees are stored in the balls! haha! ๐Ÿ

Another instance made only for block evasion: the.cutest.monster

LMAO what the hell. "Best of Luck Nikki" I don't even have anything clever to say I just can't wrap my mind around this

I'm gonna start carrying a switchblade around until people start giving me a little bit of RESPECT!!

my aunt is getting married to that fuckboy i guess. what an invitation. wow.

this might be my favorite hideous Pioneer Woman product. Ugly little Dutch ovens

Show more
Mastodon

Server run by the main developers of the project ๐Ÿ˜ It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!