Pinned toot

Does this site involve any acknowledgement of the outside world and/or things that happen in reality? Cuz if it does, count me the fuck out.

Imagine logging onto Mastodon and still choosing to be a dick.

How come pumpkin gets to be a spice, but not mayonnaise?

Give Ellie a boost. The fate of mankind is at stake - don't waste this gift.

Not gonna lie, living in a painfully white, religious suburban area is hilarious when I roll up bumpin' Bone Thugs "Foe Tha Love of $" and the base is hittin'.

You can take the girl out tha hood, but you'll never take tha hood out tha girl. lmao

(sorry old guy mowin' your lawn)

Flagrant false advertising.

This "progressive metal" album doesn't have a single song about seizing the guns, urinating on McCain's grave, or taxing Jeff Bezos at 240%.

After reading Shitpigeon for a little while, I've concluded that brain cancer is contagious.

McCain/politics in general 

can't wait until about 4 AM when the president tweets "I ONLY LIKE SENATORS WHO DON'T DIE" and then everyone on Fox News has to say stuff like "dunking on McCain is good, actually"

Any version of heaven that includes John McCain is an afterlife I want no part of.

When you're young and naive, they write you off and call you "Dumbo". But once you're older and more savvy, they call you "Wiseau".

This is a good site bc there's no stigma attached to asking ppl to boost your good cat pics (pls boost)

almost went down a Mad, Online wormhole by looking at a stupid twitter TL, then remembered I have another option

everyone wants to know "what's bofa" but nobody ever asks "how's bofa" 😢

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